At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

GLIB AND UNDIPLOMATIC THINGS

Several years ago on this page I made sneering remarks about Filipina shop-aholics and the cut-throat nature of females from the islands.
Nothing has changed since then to alter my impression of them.
Some of them are very cute indeed, as well as intelligent and vivacious, but they are ruthless, and while it is very good to have Filipina aunties, one should avoid acquiring Filipina wives or girlfriends like the plague.

The best way to ensure your safety is to read about the place and learn how to cook the food, as well as how to pronounce it. If you are the average stupid white male, you should not visit the country no matter what.

Did I mention cute, intelligent, and vivacious?


"Mag-shopping tayo!"


Manila is a giant mall, and Filipinas are the apex-predators of this world.
For your own well-being, stay far away from Filipinas in full commercial throttle; it's a never-ending battle that always results in blood.
And brand names. Lots of brand names.

Full throttle is their permanent state.

It is likely that there are many other women who are also cute, intelligent, and vivacious, and if there are, they may not have relatives from Luzon or the Visayas. You should probably check out that possibility.

Warning: if they sound like Arnold Schwarzenegger and converse about existenzangst and andere ernsthafte themen, very probably they are Dutch or German, and rather than being food-focused, they will not understand what lumpia, halo halo, adobong babui, and kare kare are all about.

On the other hand ...

There are some advantages that come with knowing Filipinas, entirely aside from exposure to designer handbags and Italian shoes.

"Tayo na at kumain!"

A key characteristic of Filipinas, especially the auntie-types, is that food is a constant. As a white person ("taong puti") you will not be expected to know bugger-all about that -- most Caucasians have minimal culinary knowledge, likely being familiar only with sandwiches, pre-made salad dressings, and kale smoothies -- but aunties will automatically assume that you must be fed, and that you will will gladly have a snackipoo.
Lumpia, sisig, avocado shakes.
Adobo and Dinuguan.
Sinigang.

[Keep in mind that such typical generosity is an obligation on both sides; do not be just a taker. A hospitable approach must always become a two-way street.]


Food notes: the sweet snacks will count heavily: bibinka, puto, ensemada, tikwe, pitsi pitsi, kutsinta, leche flan, etcetera. Filipino Chinese might think of savoury stuff: machang (glutinous rice and pork in a bamboo leaf packet; 肉粽), humba (red-stewed pork belly; 紅肉), kiampeng (savoury rice with everything; 鹹飯). Plus various bakpia (肉餅) and hopia (好餅).

And, of course, countless variations on red-bean desserts.

Merienda is a way of life.


There used to be a lot more Filipino eateries in the Financial District. Still, they exist elsewhere in the city, and you should give them a whirl.
You might find yourself falling in love.

Maybe not with a woman.



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3 Comments:

  • At 1:49 PM, Anonymous e-kvetcher said…

    You should check out http://unsongbook.com

     
  • At 1:51 PM, Anonymous e-kvetcher said…

    From unsong.com:

    People discovered the first few Names of God through deep understanding of Torah, through silent prayer and meditation, or even through direct revelation from angels. But American capitalism took one look at prophetic inspiration and decided it lacked a certain ability to be forced upon an army of low-paid interchangeable drones. Thus the modern method: hire people at minimum wage to chant all the words that might be Names of God, and see whether one of them starts glowing with holy light or summoning an angelic host to do their bidding. If so, copyright the Name and make a fortune.

     
  • At 1:54 PM, Anonymous e-kvetcher said…

    Also from there, which you may find amusing:

    The resemblances between San Francisco and the Biblical Jerusalem are uncanny.

    The highest point in Jerusalem was King Solomon’s Temple Mount; the highest point in San Francisco is the suspiciously-named Mount Davidson. To the north of the Temple was the Golden Gate, leading to the city of Tiberias; to the north of Mount Davidson is the Golden Gate Bridge, leading to the city of Tiburon. Southwest of Jerusalem city center was the Roman legions’ camp (Latin: “castrum”); southwest of San Francisco city center is the Castro District. To the south of Jerusalem lay Gehennam, the Valley of Sulfur; to the south of San Francisco lies Silicon Valley. To the east of Jerusalem was the giant dungheap where the Israelites would throw their refuse; to the east of San Francisco is Oakland. Like I said, uncanny.

    The east gate of Jerusalem is called the Bab al-Buraq; the east gate of San Francisco is called the Bay Bridge. The Bab al-Buraq has been bricked up since the Crusades; the Bay Bridge has been barricaded since the 1970s.

    Ana Thurmond spoke a Name, became invisible, and slipped past the barricades, the guards in their guard towers none the wiser.

    Just inside the Bab al-Buraq was the Temple Treasury; just past the barricades on the Bay Bridge is Treasure Island. The Temple Treasury became a base for the Knights Templar; Treasure Island became a base for the US Navy. Both military forces abandoned their respective bases a few decades later; both had their partisans who prophecied they would one day regain their former glory. The Temple Treasury, upon the coming of Moshiach and the construction of the Third Temple; Treasure Island, after the San Francisco government completed an environmental impact evaluation and approved a real estate development plan. God in His wisdom alone knows which will happen first.

     

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