FROM THE CECUM ALL THE WAY TO THE RECTUM

One the last weekday before the year ends, it is well to remember both the good and the bad. No, shan't review the bad, you can probably do that very well yourself.
But the good deserves at least a cursory glance.


I personally discovered that very many people are offended by honest opinions. Consequently I shall not be associating with quite such a large number of human beings in the coming year. Animals. Animals don't go ballistic, and have strong opinions only about food. Opinions which are actually based on experience and perspicacity.

Many animals are also food themselves.

Pigs. Goats. Rabbits. And ducks.

Roasting is always good.


Next week, to celebrate the fact that I am still alive and full of beans, I will have some roast duck in Chinatown. It shall almost certainly be by myself, because despite the fact that I am a social animal, I am a loner. Possibly due to aforementioned honest opinions. And the extraordinarily thin skins / thick heads of the equally aforementioned "very many people".


Either they or I resemble the fabled perissodactyl. But probably them. Not only do I lack the ability to ferment my food in my hindgut, but I am not short-tempered, aggressive, and by nature solitary.


I think they should keep my saintly good nature in mind if I ever acquire a rifle, because sometimes shooting pissy bad-tempered creatures who threaten the livestock and eat all the lettuce is fully justified.
But I might simply beat them off with a stick.
Or poke them with something sharp.

Their small hornless ancestor resembled a tapir (a particularly lumpy one), and their mother smelled of elderberries.




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