At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013


The other evening, in conversation with a friend, I lightly described the ideal female companion. That is to say, the type of woman that all right-thinking men should aspire to find, especially if they are youngish middle-aged pipe-smokers who prefer women with big brains rather than big hooters.
This post is not about hooters. If that is what you came here for, you really should go elsewhere. There are, as you have probably discovered, hooters all over cyber space.
You may have a lot in common with random Pakistanis. Plus television executives, football fans, and diverse politicians in Washington.
It's sad, really.

What I said was "a woman who remarks 'honey, we absolutely HAVE to buy this! It's a dictionary of a language with only six-hundred speakers!' would be the ticket."
My friend agreed that that sounded utterly divine, but cautioned me to be more realistic. The perfect woman, he opined, would indeed say "we HAVE to buy this, it's a dictionary of a language with only six-hundred speakers", but she should also be positive and accepting of pipe-smoking.
Even if she herself never or seldom indulged.

Which sounds extremely nice.

And the idea is a sound one. A woman with a supportive attitude towards pipes, who is also more attracted to obscure subjects and linguistic stuff than to expensive handbags and footwear.

Such women probably do NOT exist all over cyberspace.

That is an enormous pity.


"A language with only six-hundred speakers"

In a way, this blog is rather like that. The only time I mention football or other sports is when I wish to insult a multitude, most of whom will never read this blog. The people who end up here are often interested in other subjects. Food. Snarky re-interpretations of history. Weird words.
Religion and irreligion.
And pipe tobacco.

Among the list of popular posts here are several that discuss pipe-tobacco.

Balkan Sobranie Original Mixture
The tobacco product that many people remember from an eccentric uncle. His tweed jacket, or satin vampire cape, always used to smell like that; they loved burying their long bird-like noses in the material when they were children and sniffing deeply of the fragrance.

Label: Balkan Sobranie.

Clan Pipe Tobacco
This post is popular among people who would never touch Clan pipe tobacco, formerly by Theodorus Niemeyer, in a hundred years. Several of my classmates in highschool loved it. They had issues, like most teenagers.

[This blogger finds some teenagers aesthetically appealing, but most of them are intellectually dreary. With a bit of luck, they'll grow up to be intellectually peculiar. A few are the other way around. Exceptionally few.]

Erinmore Flake: Harlot Tobacco
About a pipe-tobacco that made me vomit when I was fourteen.
I fondly remember my teenage years.

Label: Erinmore

Pipe Smoking Ladies
Most people who find this are, I hope, women. Pipe-smoking should not be a man's preserve, and in places like Denmark and the Congo many women have acquired the habit. Elsewhere, they may be in the closet. Especially in California, where the female of the species is encouraged to be an entirely unremarkable and politically correct vegan consumerite.
Real women are book-reading carnivores.

Label: Smoking women

List of Flakes
Brief descriptions of over three dozen concoctions of flue-cured tobaccos matured under pressure. They can be very rewarding for the contemplative person. Peaceful tobaccos, best enjoyed with a book and perhaps a bit of sherry or tea. I am at this moment smoking Cornell & Diehl's "Exhausted Rooster" in a pipe from John's Pipe Shop, formerly located at 524 - 524½ South Spring Street in Los Angeles. Many of their pipes were made by Comoy's of London, as were pipes for Astleys (London) Wally Frank (New York), Iwan Ries (Chicago), and Grants (San Francisco).
To have one is to own a slice of history.
It is a lovely Virginia and Perique flake, tangy but not too bold.
Something a lady would not be embarrassed to smoke, I hope.
Very nice and bright.

Label: Flake

Solomon - Prebyterian Mixture - Planta Tabak
Exposing the truly degenerate habits common to men of the cloth.
Public schools, caning, and grim Scottish cuisine.
Not for the faint of heart.

Label: Presbyterian

Hello Kitty tobacco
People who willingly associate much with me know that Hello Kitty is a subject that often comes up in conversation. But rather than a perverse interest of mine, it is that their own sweet personalities that tend to remind me of something feline. Honestly.
And what would Hello Kitty smoke?
Click to find out.

label: Hello Kitty

I sincerely hope that there are a number of women among readers of these posts, as something which gives me such great pleasure should be enjoyed by a full spectrum. But perhaps it's a habit that is on it's way out. Thoughtful women might enjoy it.

Tobacconists are nowadays far more enthusiastic about cigars and cigar smokers than about pipes and good briar. That's where the money is, and for some utterly obscure reason, cigar smoking appears to have way more sex-appeal. I cannot fathom why.
Possibly there is sick symbolism there.

For a good introduction to cigar smokers, click this label:
The wall
Many fond mentions of the type will come up.
With favourable impressions.
Of cigar smokers.


NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


  • At 3:35 PM, Anonymous e-kvetcher said…

  • At 5:07 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    It is indeed. For me, the sometimes discouraging tone I employ toward people attempting to speak Dutch is that accents and mis-pronunciations of vowels grates, and interferes with my neutrality.
    I cannot hear the ei, eu, ui, and ieu sounds butchered and remain unmoved.

    However, I will gladly correct them until one of us is blauw in the face.

  • At 10:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If I recall correctly, you once purchased and smoked an extremely fruity aromatic that you described as appropriate for hello kitty.

  • At 1:02 AM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    That is correct. One of the McClellands. Honeydew. Very idiosyncratic. And downright bad.


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