At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013


Some spam comments consist of such a simple unchanging message that, seeing it only once, you are struck by the absurdity of the attempt, and each time it crops up you marvel again. At times especially by its juxtaposition with the subject of the post underneath appended, and the link to which the spamberger wishes to direct you.

One such, cropping up regularly, is the phrase: "we are a group of volunteers starting a new scheme in our community". It goes on to say that you, the blogger, have been a great help, the information you provided was invaluable to them and their brand spanking new scheme, and really you should visit their site, which furthers the noble aims that unite you with them. Share data, advance the cause, march together toward a glorious future, achieving a common goal.

Such as Brazilian waxing in Singapore.

If that's the 'new volunteer scheme in their community', they live in a fascinating neighborhood. Truly. One which may have 'issues'.
I will grudgingly admit that communal Brazilian waxing, especially of Singaporeans, is a brilliant concept that gives me a prickly thrill.
Which is a feeling that I find hard to live with.
But I fail to see how it relates to my subject.
I myself have waxed - wroth at times, eloquent I hope, and both lyrical and mildly amusing when inspired. But never Brazil.

"We have a new scheme in our community!"

Brazilian waxing, for those still unaware, is the forceful yanking out of hair on sensitive regions (such as, hypothetically, the armpits) to create either a tighter patch of dark growth with clearly defined boundaries, perhaps a clever design -- hearts, clubs, diamonds, and the Jack of Spades, for poker-playing women -- or the removal of strays, even complete defoliation and devastation like napalm on a tropical jungle.
Consider, for instance, the keen aesthetic displeasure that your fellow women feel when they observe your European armpit hair erupting forth from the sleeves of your stylish short-sleeved blouse.
That's wrong, right? Naturally you do not want to disquiet them.
So, as a selfless act, an altruistic sacrifice, you visit the community centre in your Singaporean housing estate, and have a volunteer apply hot wax to your pits, put a strip of cloth over it, wait until it hardens, then rip with great force in the direction that the follicles point, removing huge clumps of your barbed-wire-like armpit shrubbery. The process gets repeated till not a single hair is left. None will grow back for at least two weeks.
Or maybe you have them sculpt a discreet punctuation.
Perhaps a question mark in one pit.
Semi-colon in the other.

Care to guess where the exclamation mark is?

Conceivably it could also be done with chest-hair for males.
It's Singapore, so I'm thinking Hello Kitty.
Cute, chic, and friendly.

It's been nearly three decades since I visited Singapore. The place has changed. Maybe I should go back sometime.

But first, a Brazilian wax.

Polka dots.

I have NO idea why it's called "Brazilian waxing". All I can think of is that Brazilians must be excessively hairy in parts. Especially their pits. They probably put European women to shame.
There's a colony of them in Singapore.

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All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


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