At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Sunday, September 15, 2013


You've travelled twelve thousand miles to be here. You visited Fisherman's Wharf and the only exciting thing was watching a pickpocket get beaten up by a streetperson. Crabs, blah. Oyster po'boys, ick. Clam chowder in a bowl made out of a dried and hollowed-out sourdough loaf, meh.
Big fat meh.

Well, there's the prison. You're European (or something), and you've ALWAYS wanted to see the inside of an American prison. It's very exciting. Bars and sh*t and everything, and no teevee. No aircon or exercise room either. So deliciously primitive!

But you get seasick easily, so you don't want to risk the ferry to the island.

Speaking of islands, maybe there's a channel here that plays Fantasy Island in syndication?

"Buzz buzz deplane deplane"

"Shut up Tattoo, you're SO seventies!"

"Yezz buzz"

[Internal monologue: 'Man, I'm totally OVER that little freak!']

San Francisco isn't all it's cracked up to be.

But, thanks to a young lady of remarkable brilliance from Australia, you can have real food in San Francisco. Not just lousy updredged bottom feeders from the Bay, or yet another visit to a MacDonalds because it reminds you of home.



Don't forget the oatmeal. It helps your digestive system process that delicious bacon and eggs. Proper nutrition is very important.
They don't have that in San Francisco.

Personally, I think Natalie Tran is da bomb, totally, and I now have an unquenchable yen for hotel-room cooking. Natalia Tran, two rashers of apple-wood smoked bacon, and a warm cup of oats!

What we learned from a different Natalie Tran video is that there is nothing sharp in her underwear.

Good to know.

We love you, Natalie.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


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