SOLOMON'S PRESBYTERIAN MIXTURE BY PLANTA
Boruch Hashem she is a heavy sleeper.
I popped open a tin of Presbyterian mixture recently. Despite the name there is nothing dour or severe about this blend. It is in fact so indulgent a product that all stern Calvinists would be convinced that partaking guarantees one a special place in hell.
The truth is far otherwise.
This blend exemplifies everything that most women hate about your bestial habits. Oriental tobacco has that effect. Which, of course, is why you should only smoke it very late at night, when your good lady is asleep, or out near the kitchen-midden, amidst the rotting fish heads and cabbage cores.
This tobacco will make your sojourn at the pile of garbage extremely enjoyable. Your wife shall regret kicking you out of the house.
There is Latakia in this blend, but it is by no means a Syrian dump. Rather, the inclusion is more traditional in measure, before blenders realized quite how much smoke-cured leaf they could get away with. The dominant taste is Macedonian, augmented very nicely by Virginias and other New World leaves, and possibly a touch of Perique (though that is doubtful). Due to the high proportion of Orientals it is relatively low in nicotine and will not leave you buzzing. Resinous, of a medium sweetness, and to the person smoking it slightly floral. To the nearest female, however, it is not nearly so divine.
Peaty, yeasty, plummy, leathery.
It is very moist in the tin, and must be aired for considerable time before you stuff into your brier. But it packs well, due to the narrow cut. Once dried a bit, it smokes easily - twixt spice and cream.
[Previously I wrote about Presbyterian Mixture here: Degenerate Man of God.
What I said then was somewhat intemperate. But I stand by it.]
Every time I open a tin, I go through it at a very rapid clip.
I hop around among tobaccos too much to make this a constant smoke, though.
But I do have several tins in my stockpile.
Comparable to Dunhill Durbar Mixture in some ways, also similar to Squadron Leader. Manifestly NOT like Gawith Hoggarth's Balkan Mixture, except in cut.
PLANTA TABAK MANUFAKTUR
Planta in Germany produces a number of fine English blends, Virginias, and several innovative aromatics and pouched mixtures.
Those last two categories are more popular in Europe than normal tobaccos.
From their internet site: "The PLANTA company was founded in Berlin-Spandau in 1956 by Dr Manfred Obermann, who is still the CEO of his company today. As early as 1962 the management of PLANTA decided in favour of the production of foreign pipe tobaccos in Germany under licence. The pipe tobaccos RUM AND MAPLE and WELLAUER’s ENGLISH BLEND proved most successful and soon gained a very good reputation all over Germany. They laid the foundation for our expansion, which required PLANTA to move to its own premises in Hagelberger Strasse in Berlin-Kreuzberg in 1963, where the headquarters and administration are still situated."
Planta blends are carried by a number of internet retailers, in case you cannot find them at your local tobacconist or apothecary.
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