A WORTHY CAUSE

All furballs need an umbrella. We know this because we live on Nob Hill, and we watch Japanese movies. These two things establish, beyond any shadow of doubt, that certain animals absolutely require decent umbrellas NOW!

Badgers. Raccoons. Japanese trolls.

But not cats.

Cats have homes with stupid humans who tolerate their antics and obey. Whereas the other three mentioned (badgers, raccoons, and Japanese trolls) are independent-minded, and merely live alongside humans, not with them. Nor do they invade homes and brutalize the residents.
Unlike cats.

Again, we can rely on the Japanese for proof.
Hello Kitty.
Proof.

Any home that has Hello Kitty is a sad and severely dysfunctional place, with traumatized and psychologically scarred people, who may take years to recover from the mental torture and abuse that that horrid feline puts them through. They are quite possibly damaged for life.
Icky cuteness and feline strong-arm tactics.
By a saccharine opportunist squatter.
Domineering and demanding.

No one who has lived with badgers or raccoons (or Japanese trolls) has experienced anything that even comes close. And most of them are still well-adjusted. The badgers and raccoons (and Japanese trolls) did not stay very long, they showed sincere appreciation for the strawberry shortcake, and they took their leave.
Despite the fact that it was raining buckets.
They didn't outlast their welcome.
Very gracious guests.

And that, you see, is why badgers, raccoons, and Japanese trolls need umbrellas.

==========================================================================
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
==========================================================================