Thursday, April 05, 2012

SMELLING BAD BUT LOOKING INCREDIBLY PRETTY

Tonight I shall be surrounded almost entirely by men.
In a brightly lit place.
Where there might be intoxicating beverages.
Or not.

A gathering of pipe-smokers, doing what we do best.
Given that most of us enjoy blends which contain Latakia, the chances are that all of us will reek like prime beef jerky by the time we get home. Either that or zesty barbecue.
I, for one, intend to end up smelling my edible best.
Mmmmmmmm, it's smoky!
Peaty, even.

The 'looking pretty' refers to one of the half-dozen pipes I shall have with me.
A lovely red flying saucer shape with a very refined bend.
It is a “piss-elegant” little number.

I fully expect rapturous oohs and aahs when I pull it out.
The shape is an Italian re-interpretation of the squat bent bulldog, with a narrow round shank instead of the usual thick diamond, and a mild curve. Only one bead, instead of the customary two.
Yeah, totally piss-elegant.

It’s pretty.

Men like pretty.

Women are allowed at these meetings, they aren’t boys only events.
Problem is, we don’t know any lady pipe smokers.
If we did, we would encourage them.
And be well-behaved.

Men like pretty.



TOBACCO INDEX

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"totally piss-elegant"

For a second I read 'pipe-elegant'.

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In many ways I am a severely disapproving sort. I dislike tattoos, piercings, patchouli, raggedy tee-shirts, potsmoking, public misbehaviour...