At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Most single men know the experience.  You wake up and wonder "what crawled into my mouth and died?"
No, it's not alcohol related.  It's late night snack related.
Way more surrealistic.

I have no idea how old those microwavable chicken frank corndogs were. 
The sauce I made to dip them in disguised much of their saveur, and it wasn't till halfway through the second one that I realized 'hey, this sucker tastes off'.  Still, with enough chilipaste and mustard a wealth of flaws can be hidden.
The sauce was zesty and delicious.

An unbeatable combination of stale chicken frank, dried out corn meal crust, hot sauce, lemon juice, jalapeño mustard, and chopped olives, with a heady top note of toothpaste from brushing my teeth afterwards.....

Do you taste that, son?  Nothing else in the world tastes like that! 

It tastes like victory!

Mmmm, it is minty fresh.

I've made similar mistakes fairly regularly in the past two years. 
There's little reason to buy food in advance, seeing as I seldom feel like eating when I'm at home. And by the time I come in after a long day of whatever it is that I do nowadays, the stores are closed.
Well, other than the Vietnamese grocer around the corner, but there's only so much spicy linguiça and Mexican chorizo one can consume. Even with condiments.
At times I've looked at what I had on the shelf, and decided to simply have rice stick noodles with the contents of a can picked at random. Fortunately almost everything can be improved with hot sauce. Or curry paste. And chopped olives. Capers. Hyderabadi lime pickle.
Had to throw out an entire bag of wonton last week because I had forgotten about it.
Hermetically sealed dumplings are not supposed to look bloated.
The bag is not supposed to bounce, either.

It was a good brand.  I'll probably buy more soon.

Single men aren't tied in to the dining schedules of other people. 
We make our own rules.

I've got lots of teabags. 
And cookies.

Hey, fruit juice and buttermilk, that's it!  I can simply drink my dinner!
With some pieces of matzoh, I'll have all the major food groups.
The matzoh will provide fiber.  Still got tons of it.
Fruit juice and buttermilk.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.

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