Monday, April 02, 2012

WHAT'S ON TELEVISION?

My effect on other people is staggering. That is to say, there are people out there who cannot hide their revulsion.
Truly.

Part of that, no doubt, has to do with lunch.
Today I had a tuna salad sandwich, and consequently one of the people in the elevator turned positively green.
It reeks, apparently. Some people just cannot deal with tuna fish karma.

Approximately an hour before I had finished a pipe, and immediately after eating I smoked a cigar.
But I really should have avoided the odorous fishy material on a dark toasted roll.
She held her coat up against her nose and nearly passed out.
The cumulative effect of a mild personal aroma and SEAFOOD was too much for her.
Wonder what she’d do if I had lox and a shmear?
Probably start whimpering.


My piles bleed for her.

Real people are much more entertaining than what’s on teevee.



For years my favourite shows were ‘Kids In The Hall’, ‘Arrested Development’, and ‘The X Files’.
Two comedies and an angst-filled geek opera.

The first episode I ever saw of The X Files was the Arkansas chicken-ranch cannibal story.
But many of the zanier broadcasts are far more relevant.
Digestive juices? Trailer park vampires? Evil twin in the chest cavity?
Oh, I know – the story about the pineal gland parasite!
Plus lovable aliens exuding black slime.

Wonder what the woman in the elevator would have done if I had mentioned Walter Chaco's Chickens.
Or leered at her suggestively and talked about poetry?


I think tomorrow I will feast upon some lovely smoked salmon.

With lots of capers and raw onions.

In between my pipe and the post-lunch cigar.

Then wait at the elevators till she shows up.


There’s nothing entertaining on TV these days anyway.
Food fights and Kardashians.
Fish love.



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3 comments:

Tzipporah said...

‘Kids In The Hall’, ‘Arrested Development’, and ‘The X Files’.

I knew there was a reason we get along so well.

The back of the hill said...

;-D

The Belching Cheroot said...

You are not a very social animal at all, are you?

Torturing some poor Vegan with the reek of once living protein being digested. How horrible!

That was quite beastly.

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