Saturday, April 28, 2012

CONSIDERATION FOR FELLOW SAN FRANCISCANS

Raccoons are known for their sensitive hands, which feel and relate to objects with keen intelligence. For the raccoon, the sense of touch is as important as eye-sight, and an ability to smell things. This explains both their eating habits, and their talent for picking locks.
Makes you wonder why you don't see raccoons eating noodles more often.
If anyone can master chopsticks, would it not be them?
Maybe they just eat such foods in private.
Home cooked style.


PROTO-ALGONQUIN "ARAGKUNEM": ONE WHO RUBS, SCRUBS, AND HOLDS WITH HIS HANDS.

No, I did not eat noodles today. But if I had, I would've probably looked for a raccoon to share them with. Given how hot the soup comes to the table, we would've had to ask for extra ice, to cool the food down so that my small guest would not burn his or her paws and mouth.
I suspect raccoons do not prepare cooked food much. If they did, there might be more inexplicable fires in the city. Despite their remarkable dexterity, they lack opposable thumbs. Lit matches would go flying, and their kitchen activities could be a public hazard.  Best not boil any water, and forget about frying too.
They're all thumbs, they realize this. And I think that's why you so rarely see them in noodle shops.
Embarrassment, plus envy and hurt pride. Chopsticks are probably problems too.
It's okay, my furry friend, you can use a fork, just like white folks.
More ice? Careful, it's hot.

FYI:  饂飩("烏冬")麵 can be consumed cold. Boiled tender, rinsed in cold water to room temperature. And like 粗麵, they're thick enough that you could easily eat them with your paws.
Excellent with char-grilled pork and a little soy sauce.
Plus crunchy lettuce and cilantro.

Warm weather is raccoon time, time for spring cleaning. Preparing for the litter due at the end of May. Toss out the old bedding and steal more from those generous humans who live nearby.
Surely that must be why those hairless bipeds left their windows open?
Mm, these sheets smell fresh and clean! It's lavender!
And stay away from those; mothballs!

If you're going to use the stove or the ice box, better have a buddy system going on.
Those doors tend to swing closed suddenly, you wouldn't like to get stuck.
You might want to jam a broom in the refrigerator just in case.
Just be quiet while raiding, and don't leave a mess.
Well, less mess than the resident humans.
Put your dirty dishes in the sink.
And turn the coffee off.

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