VERY SINCERELY SORRY
I should “consider the joy”, she writes, “that the sweet personality of Hello Kitty” brings to all manner of people, who may like nothing better than to squeal, drool, and wet their panties over the cutesypoo icon.
Note: the squealing, drooling, and panty-wetting is just a happy guess.
She didn’t write that, I did – it seemed appropriate.
As well as extremely likely.
In my mind’s eye, people all over the world are squealing, drooling, and wetting their panties at this very moment.
They're filled with unbearable Hello Kitty love. Oh, the tenderness, oh, the heartache.
Please stop wetting your panties. Especially those of you who are men.
It’s unseemly, is what it is.
You women should probably stop also.
Have any of you ever heard of Stockholm syndrome?
Look, if you start seeing things from Hello Kitty’s point of view, you may need help.
You’ve been brainwashed, and require a dose of reality.
Perhaps an intervention.
We’ll get the dumb pussy stinko drunk, and you’ll find out what kind of gutter-trash she really is.
Dancing on tables with a lampshade and a bottle.
Dropping her panties in public.
Rude to a cop.
Then savagely attacking someone’s guide dog for the blind.
I tell you, I’ve seen stuff like that happen before.
It’s always the goodie-two-shoes who pull crap like that.
Sailors! I betcha she sleeps with sailors! Hah!
Anyhow, miss, I’m very sorry I offended you with my totally undeserved slagging of Hello Kitty yesterday, and I apologize. Sincerely.
I realize now how much Hello Kitty means to you.
And you seem like a really nice person.
Please keep your panties dry.
NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
Labels: Hello Kitty