THOUGHTS ON NOT GETTING PREGNANT

This is the fourth complete day that I'm on the medications for high blood pressure, the warning labels on which advised me to avoid getting pregnant or nursing an infant while taking them.
And yes, I do feel a lot better now, but I remain disappointed about the nursing or pregnancy bit. I suspect that that is just a passing phase.
Although if I were a woman it might be more of an issue.

I have, like probably most men, thought about what would happen if I did get someone pregnant, and resultingly had an offspring. But I've always put those thoughts and the world they conjure up aside, as not practical unless I could support the little rugrat of whichever gender through college, and be around to give it a nice Mont Blanc fountain pen upon graduation.
Question of responsibility, you know.

Plus the female person who would carry the new life for nine months would also have to be totally okay with it, and I've always looked askance at women who are over-eager to jump into that adventure.
Of whom I have not met very many in any case, and the women with whom I have been involved were sensibly hesitant about the concept.

Because, basically, the entire thing is a crap-shoot.
That kind of commitment is immense.
And requires insanity.
Or causes it.


But I would make a great parent. Instructive.


"Don't pet that rattlesnake, Rosinda, and no we will NOT have a flamethrower party! Ever!"


See? Common sense. An even-keeled and stable temperament.
Precisely what little Rosinda needs while growing up.
Plus lots of books, and imaginative toys.
And good advice about behaviour.


"Coffee and tobacco will stunt your growth, young lady, and it would be wise to abstain until you are an adult. Just look at these photos of your grandmama and great grandmama! Such short women! Neither one an inch over four foot ten! Coffee and tobacco! At far too young an age!
Heavy users in grammar school!"


Okay, so in reality my mother and grandmother didn't start indulging in tobacco till their mid-twenties -- my grandmama probably not even until her thirties -- and neither woman ever developed a heavy coffee habit. But Rosinda need not be made aware of that till she's an adult, as both of them have passed on. And I am not a tall man (only five foot eight and a half), so I'll blame that on caffeine and nicotine too.

But I remain adamant about not petting rattlesnakes and not having flamethrower parties. No crotalids, no incendiaries.


"Auntie Savage Kitten avoided coffee till she was in college, and never smoked. That's why she's five foot four and a half. Statuesque!"


Shan't mention her ideas about flamethrowers.




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