ADOPTIVE GRANDDAUGHTER

So the apartment mate (my ex-girlfriend, less than nine years difference, but she's Chinese American, and consequently has NO wrinkles, and looks sleepy early twenties at best) has promised to pick me up on Friday after stent-implanting, and is planning to introduce herself to the nurse(s) as my adoptive granddaughter. And tell them all about the time I was an Elvis impersonator, back when records were still 78 rpm. To quote what she said last night: "ooooh, this is gonna be fun!"

[Stent: a device that goes into an artery and re-opens or re-widens it, thus getting the ticker back up to speed, and reducing the chances of heart-attack or stroke. The whole process is "minimally invasive", and often takes less than thirty minutes. Valium may be employed to keep the old farts having this done limp, rather than thrashing about and demanding their blinky toy.]



I'm beginning to have second thoughts about this whole thing. Even though I myself am going to piss off the nurses every two or three hours by asking "so where did you say the smoking area was?"

And then informing them when they're snarling that "more doctors smoke Camels than any other cigarette. In a repeated national survey, doctors all across the country, in all branches of medicine ........ ".

'..... were asked "what cigarette do YOU smoke, doctor?" Yes, not surprisingly, the answer was 'Camels'. Why don't you try Camels, Nurse, to see what a difference the smooth rich taste of Camels can make to your smoking enjoyment?'


"So where did you say the smoking area was?"


Anyhow, I am not old enough to have an adoptive Chinese granddaughter. It would convince everyone that I am a skeevy old prick, rather than the kind-hearted and generous dude I really am.



AFTER WORD

Not scheduled for work today, because I'm opening up for four days in row, before my procedure on Friday. So I'm thinking in terms of porkchops, and a few cups of Hong Kong Milk Tea in C'town, as well as a pipe or two while wandering about there. My apartment mate is a non-smoker who works a normal nine to five weekday schedule. Which means I cannot smoke in the apartment this weekend; she would most strenuously object.

Sambal on everything. Virginia - Perique at a slow smolder.
Caffeinated hot beverages. And pastry or two.
A discreet spot of whiskey after dark.




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