THAT CHARMING SOFTNESS

Let me make one thing absolutely clear: Fay Wray NEVER went skinny dipping in a banana daiquiri, and there was no sexy banana-peel sarong.
Whoever told you that King Kong was a touching love story between a human woman and an enormous beast may have been exaggerating.

[You smell remarkably like marijuana, and your pupils are a mile wide. Pitch black holes in your face. Please get off the bus somewhere in Sausalito. They'll love you, it's where you belong.
You epitomize a large part of Marin County.]

On the other hand, a giant wall along the border can indeed hold the giant hairy apes and ravenous dinosaurs at bay. As well as humongous spiders.
Precisely such a thing kept the savage Huns and Turks out of the Middle Kingdom, and the Picts out of Britain.

It's quite as effective as thoughts and prayers.


But if you really want to chase away foreigners, tell them about our food.

Nightmare muck in a crispy shell.
Cheese costs extra.
No chilies.



By the way: that white stuff on the right, nobody knows what that is.
There are a number of theories. None of them printable.





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