Thursday, January 10, 2019

KEEP YOUR PANTS ON!

A friend forwards the details for the 18th Annual "No Pants" BART Ride. In fond hopes that I will alert a mutual acquaintance ('Little White Nipple Guy') and report back what his input on the matter might be.

No.

The instructions are too precise for our friend 'Little White Nipple Guy'. He is by nature a rebel. A dreary unimaginative rebel. But a rebel.


Cite:

"Sit in the car as you normally would. Read a magazine or whatever you would normally do. Your team leader will have already divided you into smaller groups, assigning your group a specific stop."


"Remember, if anyone asks you why you’ve removed your pants, tell them that they were “getting uncomfortable” (or something along those lines)."

"Exit the train at your assigned stop and stand on the platform, pants-less. You will wait on the platform for the specified train to arrive."

"When you enter, act as you normally would. You do not know any of the other pants-less riders. If questioned, tell folks that you “forgot to wear pants” and yes you are “a little cold.” Insist that it is a coincidence that others also forgot their pants. Be nice and friendly and normal."

"Remember: Taking photos is not keeping a straight face. Enjoy the experience and resist the urge to document. Take those Instagram shots when the ride is over. There will be plenty of people who aren’t pants-less who will be taking pictures."


End cite.

[SOURCE: 18th Annual “No Pants” BART Ride Day | 2019 .]

Furthermore, Little White Nipple Guy has imperfect filters. His rich but dreary imaginary life and his neuroses are in permanent conflict.
And he is imperfectly socialized. No finesse whatsoever.
Were he to participate, he'd likely go 'rogue'.
Nobody wants that. Trust me, NO! body.
I'm worried about the children.
And innocent old folks.

I'll brief him about it after the fact.
That will be bad enough.





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