Wednesday, December 14, 2016

I AM A MAN AND I EAT

Sometimes I look at my blog statistics, which tell me much about who is reading this blog, and why. And this week it tells me that my audience consists largely of the food-obsessed and the perverted.
That is not an accurate reflection of me, however.
Yes, I am quite food-obsessed.
But not perverse.

At least I don't think so.


Most visited posts this week, from greatest number of viewers to least:


DIFFERENCE BETWEEN FRENCH CUT AND HIGH CUT
Nov 19, 2012

HAM SAP LO - THE CANTONESE PERVERT
Apr 27, 2011

CANTONESE ROAST GOOSE
Dec 26, 2012

I ATTACK, FOLLOW ME
Dec 9, 2016

WOMEN PIPE SMOKERS
Dec 16, 2012

DIM SUM: KINDS, NAMES, PRONUNCIAT​ION, DESCRIPTIO​N
Mar 28, 2012

BRIEF INTROSPECTIVE FLICKER
Dec 11, 2016

BEST RICE PORRIDGE IN SAN FRANCISCO
Dec 1, 2012

MACKEREL IS NOT HERRING
Aug 19, 2010

WE MUST PLAN A HECATOMB!
Dec 11, 2016


The essay shown at the top is part of a category I like to think of as 'pervert taunting', written largely for the discomfort of gentlemen in the Persian Gulf and Pakistan who are lonesome and rather disgusting. They surf the web late at night looking for pictures that can get through the smut filters their nations have imposed. Indeed, some of them are actually in Russia -- lord only knows what they were looking for -- and a number live in basements in America's urban conglomerata, kindly subsidized by their mothers.
Like their brethren in the Gulf, they are repellent.

There are no sexual images here.
Sorry to disappoint.
Not.


I am fairly certain the neurotic mobility-impaired Jewish lesbian cat-lover no longer reads my blog, and that is rather pleasing. She was a horrid woman, with whom it is good to not associate anymore.
And she lacked a sense of humour.


Half of the posts in the list above are about food. The people who find these essays are probably folks I would not mind meeting.

They are both more numerous than free-range filthy-minded individuals, and more diverse, but on the whole harder to find because they exhibit their tendencies less.


Women pipe smokers (fifth link down) are probably the rarest category. And the hardest to characterize. Most pipe smokers are male, and I am hard put to understand why this is so. There is no real difference in tastes and oral fixations between the genders which would come into play that I am aware of, nor do hormones have any bearing on tobacco enjoyment.

Pipe smoking is a better fit for detail-oriented people.
Many women are extremely detail-oriented.
More than most men.



Food searches, by the way, bring in the most viewers, far more than any other category. And nobody comes here for kitten pictures.







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