HOARD BROCCOLI!

Due to continuing weather problems in Iberia, supermarkets in Britain are limiting customer purchases of certain vegetables. This immense hardship probably goes unnoticed by the natives.

Peas aren't on the list.
Neither are baked beans.

Here in the United States, we are on the edge of the Porkapolypse, however, and things are getting desperate. It is unprecedented.

Words like 'weltschmerz', 'existenzangst', 'identitätskrise', 'gicht', and 'zweifelhaft' are now being used. It is dire.



This may lead to an increase in the manufacture of turkey bacon.


WELTSCHMERZ, EXISTENZANGST, GICHT, IDENTITÄTSKRISE, UND ZWEIFELHAFT!


I had not heard about the Porkapolypse until this week, now I note clear signs of it in Scripture. Jesus himself foretold it, when he said "and hold onto thy carnitas, gringo, for there will come a time of sadness".

You cannot have a prayer breakfast without real bacon.

The nation's centre will probably collapse.

Starved of their spirituality.

Poor Mississippi.


Here in California we will probably survive, of course, because there are far fewer idolaters and heretics than anywhere else, and almost none of them elected to office, unlike the stupid parts of the country -- the sewage flows east -- but you must expect mayhem elsewhere. It will be horrific.
Fire, ice, brimstone. Loud screaming.
Turkey bacon.




Please note: There are more fast food outlets per capita in Montana, Wyoming, and Nevada, and lard is the salad dressing of the South.
We'll probably have to pray for them.

Turkey bacon.



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