Like everyone, I like scoring in the top percentile. And this year, after all is said and done, and as the year winds to a close, I did just that!
It's something with which to celebrate a beginning.
Normally I associate New Year's eve with both pleasure and sadness, as it was the day when my ex and I first dated, and, as you will understand, we are no longer an item (though still friends) and in consequence the anniversary brings up a mixed cocktail of feelings and memories.
In the years since we split, I have not found anyone new.
This is San Francisco, so it just isn't very likely I will.
Besides, middle-aged men with neat little goatees and fairly decent looks are seldom date material in any case, more the avuncular type, though if one were a tall woman, one might want to muss up my hair, going "wuzzah wuzzah wuzzah you're so cuuuuuute!"
I would hate that.
Reason being that at five feet eight and a half inches I realize I am shorter that big dumb glandular football players from the Midwest anyhow, and rather acutely dislike such freaks.
Too tall is offensive.
Never-the-less, I have scored.
Yuge, bigly.
"Wow. You are a fucking bastard. Next to you, King Joffrey is like the pope. You are the person that everyone hates at the movies, on public transportation, and in shops.
You are a first class asshole. Well done!"
This is my result from MeowShare (link HERE) which asked "How Much Of An Asshole Are You?"
Fabulous. I've always sought appreciation and affirmation.
MeowShare does not realize that I smell of tobacco. I am insufferable.
Probably the only way I could score any higher is if I took up bagpipes and practiced every day.
Tempting.
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1 comment:
Dear Professor BotH DPhil,
'V'always wondered the secret behind being the most top of assholes, t'emulate Your Bastardliness. I tried joining the Pepe lovers over at 4chan, but their limited vocabulary made me realize that repeating th'word "cuck" multiple times was not exactly the best method of achieving that status.
That being said, I found a passage on th'Internet that might hold the secret:
Terms that Jews and Christians held in common but to which they ascribed alternative meanings, such as the “Kingdom of Heaven,” alerted readers to appreciate a passage as polemic. For example, the Zohar contests the Kingdom of Heaven’s Christian meaning as a salvific future that excludes Jews by reclaiming it as a reference both to accepting Jewish law – “the yoke of the Kingdom of Heaven” – and to the Kabbalistic divine presence Shekhinah, also known as “the Kingdom.” In other cases the Zohar’s allusive language requires knowledge of Christian imagery and ritual. When the text mentions “sorcerous divinations of the bird” that involve offering incense at an altar with “abominable bread,” contrasted with the ancient biblical showbread of Exodus 25:30 (Zohar 3:192a), it is clear from the context – as shall be seen in chapter 4 – that the text refers to the Holy Spirit, which Christians often depicted as a dove, and to the celebration of the eucharist.
That must be it!! The secret to being a Major League Asshole must revolve around eating both sorcerous birds and abominable bread.
I'm not sure where to find a supplier for either, but surely there must be a place in San Francisco Chinatown that can provide for m'every dickish need!
What d'you think? Are you a frequent eater of those dishes? 'D'appreciate a full post on this!
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