This blogger is attending two seders this week. But not with his significant other.
No, we're not breaking up, we just realize each other's natural limitations.
While I can really get into Pesach-mode, Savage Kitten would probably be fast asleep, head on the table, before we even got to the matze-ball soup.
She is an antisocial morning person who finds long in-depth disquisitions on subjects in which she has no interest absolutely mind-numbing. She isn't comfortable at all in the company of a lot of people, and is too shy to actively participate in the spoken part of the seder even if she did have the necessary backgrounding. Once her bloodsugar level goes down at night, she goes to sleep. Period. Think tidal inevitability.
There are actually five children at the Pesach table:
1. THE CHACHAM- the wise child: what are the laws and customs of this day?
[Mah ha'edos vehachukkim vehamishpatim asher tzivah Hashem Eloheinu et-chem? Avadim ha'yinu le faro be mitzrayim...]
2. THE RASHA - the wicked child: what does this mean to you?
[Mah ha'avodah hazos lachem? Zevach 'pesach hu le Hashem asher 'pasach' al basei bnei Yisrael b'Mitzraim...]
3. THE TAM - the simple/straightforward child: what's all this then?
[Mah zos?!? Bechozek yad hotzi'anu Hashem m'Mitzrayim m'beis avadim...]
4. SHE-EINO YODEA LISHOL - the child who does not know how to ask.
5. And the SLEEPER, for whom the gefilte fish was probably the only thing remembered.
[Baruch haMakom, baruch Hu; baruch she-noson Torah le amo Yisrael, baruch hu. Keneged arba'ah vanim divrah Torah: echad chacham, ve echad rasha, ve echad tam, ve echad she eino yodea lishol (' ..... concerning four sons, sayeth the Torah; one wise, one wicked, one simple, and one that does not know how to ask').]
Years ago we engaged in the torture that all couples experiment with at first: dragging the other person to social events and office parties, where each mitgedragged significant other was one of the fifty percent of attendees WHO DID NOT KNOW ANYONE ELSE.
"Hi, uh, mister....., yes, well, and how have you been since last year?"
"Oh, fine, miss..., mrs......, uhhhh, erm, yes, fine, so very nice to see you again!"
Yeah, that sure is a thrilling thing to do together.
We eventually realized that such events served no purpose. We are very fond of each other, but parts of our lives do not need to be shared.
I like living la vie Cantonaise vicariously, she appreciates my interactions with the chevra from a distance.
Being a heathen, her method of observing Passover and Easter is both straightforward and surprisingly beautiful: rent The Ten Commandments, sit in front of the teevee with a giant bag of bacon-cheddar chips, and dig that crazy white guy Charlie Heston sounding all ponderous.
Flames, water, lightening, and a wild party. Costumes! Horsies! White hair! Timbrels! Yay!
Then do it all over again the second night.
It's a celebration of freedom.
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8 comments:
Char siu. Lobster.
These do not a Happy Pesach make.
They do make me happy.
Not enough girlies with sarees doing the shimmie shimmie. To many old geezers doing the histrionics.
Herstrionics! We need more herstrionics!
---Grant Patel
Doing too much together can sometimes create a problem-- that's why we have friends... fine inventions.
Bob
Much alcohol was consumed during one particular seder, or so it was heard among the reeds.
--Gruntelwoth Panteleuse-Perpittypantaloonpantiesgarump
Good, sensible couple.
Bad Cohen and I are still working on getting to that point.
I volunteered to start by not attending any of his concerts.
I'm not sure he appreciates this vital contribution I am making to our healthy couplehood.
Couples should always do things separately. Not all things. But many.
That way she'll never know the strange perversions in his head, and he will never be bored shite-less while she spends hours and hours shopping. Or talking to her 'grrr-friends'.
---Grant Pantaloons
You would've loved the gay couple at the bar yesterday - they were doing everything together separately.
Perhaps on the same sheet, not on the same page. Different sides of the paper.
One odd. One even.
---Grant Keenobserver
Amazingly sane and common-sensical observations by mister Patel.
I shan't be fooled into thinking that there is still any hope for him yet, however. Even irredeemables occassionally stick their heads up above the sewer to drink in clean air. This must have been one of those times.
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