In a move remarkable for its sheer goofiness, the Israeli acting health minister refuses to use the word 'swine' (or its Hebrew equivalent) in describing Swine Flu. Because it is 'unclean'. Even the word can cause pollution.
Instead, its 'Mexican Flu'.
Much like the pox is French, and Homosexuals in Iran are 'decadent Westerners'.
Only kosher animals deserve the flu.
Mexicans are many things (being a remarkably talented and diverse lot), but I have to doubt whether they are kosher.
I mean, yes, they probably taste just like chicken -- actually, human beings are supposed to taste like pork, hence the term 'long pig', but I only have this on hearsay, there has been NO foodslut research in that direction from this blogger, I assure you, so let us just assume that like everything else, "it tastes just like chicken" -- but given that the word 'chazir' for pig has been used in Hebrew since at least the time of Genesis, whereas many Israelis are only marginally familiar with Mexicans (there were NO Mexicans on the ark or in the midbar), and even the concept 'Mexican' is entirely non-Hebraic, it does seem more sensible to simply call it the pig flu.
[As it says in psalm 80, "yecharsemena chazir mi ya'ar ve ziz sadai yirena" ('the chazir from the forest despoils it and the wild creature of the prairie feeds upon it'), which is taken to be a reference to the Syrians and other Edomites, and their behaviour toward the vine of the Lord (Israel). So it is actually utterly appropriate!]
CHAZIR FLU!
No?
You don't want to even have to think of treifus?
Are you sure?
Then how about simply 'The Generic Kosher Animal In Lieu of That Animal Flu'?
Too long?
Oh fercrap's aches, just do what we Americans did when we were pissed at the French.
Call it the "Freedom Flu".
That will surely keep everyone happy.
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6 comments:
I should be perfectly safe, as I neither hang around Mexicans, nor intercourse the French. That's just a rash, I tell you. It is nothing!!!!
---Grossperxes Pantimimes
I don't know. I like saying the word "swine;" don't you? Best said with a German accent, I think. And would it be heresy to cure swine flu with kosher chicken soup? These things keep me up at night.
Schwein grippe.
Bob
I love the way Peter Sellers, in his role of Inspector Clousseau, said "swine".
Shghwiyaiyinnnnn!
I opened my vindow, and in flew Enzo.
Call it a load of panicky bacon.
---Grilled Eggs
Coming from a long line of Mexicans, (luckily none that I've injested) I can assure you this is utterly offensive, considering that the first case of this ridiculous outbreak was found in the US (look it up on NPR).
However, since the word "swine" is so offensive to his holiness, perhaps concho, puerco, cochino, cerdo, merrano would better suit his purpose? All of which can be used for both human and animal. :)
lovingly, just another mexican
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