THE DUTCH ARE CHEAPSKATES

It is with great amusement that I read an article on a Dutch newspaper site about gratuities given to safari staff in Africa by customers. Apparently the Americans are preferred, as we are friendly, generous, and pleasant to deal with, whereas the Dutch are not particularly loved, because we are remarkably cheap pricks, and rather snivellingly unpleasant.
Yes, "we", because Dutchness is my other "we".

Naturally the headline writer focused on the allegation of miserliness rather than any other objectionable characteristic. If he had been Italian, it would have been about the unpleasantness, and if English, about dissatisfaction. But he was Dutch, and noticed the money thing immediately, to the exclusion of everything else.


"NEDERLANDERS GEVEN HET MINST FOOI"
['The Dutch tip least']

Italians are not punctual and don't listen to instructions. Brits are more likely to voice dissatisfaction though they arrive neatly dressed and listen attentively, Germans are always on time, Brazilians are rather like the Italians, and Frenchmen are similar to the Dutch.


"Maar liefst 85% van de onderzochte touroperators uit Afrika beoordeelt Amerikaanse safaritoeristen als plezierig of heel plezierig. Ze geven aan dat Amerikanen vriendelijk zijn, veel humor hebben en veel fooi geven."

[SOURCE: gierige rotzakken.]


All the comments underneath the article are in Dutch, and very many stalwartly defend penny pinching. Besides sneering at the Americans.
The Dutch are princes among men, and Americans are rather stupid or something.

Some commenters discuss fellow-Europeans in the most unflattering terms, and a number of people actually agree that Americans are generous and very pleasant.


Having worked for fifteen plus years part-time in a restaurant, and knowing far too many people in the hospitality industry here in San Francisco, I must now make a few stereotypic observations.
As you would expect me to do.


The Dutch: penny-pinching know-it-all tightwads. You should ALWAYS add the gratuity to their guest-check.
The English: they damned well invented whatever-it-is and complain an awful lot, besides drinking too much. Least likely to be satisfied. Add the gratuity.
The French: not quite as cheap as the Dutch, not as punctual as the Germans, nor as irritating as the Italians. Add the gratuity.
The Germans: hyper-correct and humorless. Add the gratuity.
The Irish: cheerful, nearly unintelligible, and often witty. Expect a long discussion about religion, politics, Sartre, and perhaps peatmoss, if you add the gratuity.
The Italians: rude, and a pain in the derriere, almost precisely the same as the Brazilians, but with a beautiful language. Add the gratuity.
The Russians: unpleasant and boorish, except for the oppressively cheerful ones.
The Spanish: more unintelligible than the Irish, far less ignorant than the Dutch. Sometimes disturbingly similar to Englishmen. Add the gratuity.
The Swedes: Educated. Weird.

The less said about Scotsmen, Australians, New Zealanders, and other people preoccupied with sheep, the better.


15% -- 18%

When we had new menus printed, the phrase "management reserves the right to charge a fifteen percent gratuity on parties of six or more" was changed to "management may add an eighteen percent gratuity".

It wasn't just because of Europeans. The Indians, Pakistanis, and Oaklanders also were responsible for that.


Lag'bag se Bharatiyon aur sarwa Pakistaniyon kanjus-e bhain-ch*tiyon hain, aur Oakland-log sooar hain.



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