BANGERS AND MASH

In protest at the English having become a bunch of bigoted rabid anti-Semitic sods (there are terror-supporting marches with tens of thousands of proper middle-class fanatics in London and elsewhere every weekend), I shall henceforth abjure and boycott all British foods. That is to say, I would. Except that there is so little edible food from that primitive godforsaken place that in effect I've been doing so for years.

It still surprises me that they're as overweight as Americans.
How do they do that?

I cannot imagine that a solid diet of baked beans in a tin, mushy peas, and greasy fries has that much appeal that one would or even could over-eat over there.

Also, they invented the Spam fritter. Which is an abomination.
If it weren't for acid indigestion it would result in intestinal blockage.
Plug you up something solid.


And I particularly remember what they served as a 'chimichanga'. I was overjoyed at the prospect of edible food, something with flavour, and bitterly disappointed at the stuff they placed before me. Unbelievable.

So, sadly, I cannot boycot their food. I wouldn't touch the nasty stuff even under the best of circumstances. Same counts double for Scottish food (hate-filled yobbos in Glasgow), and Ireland (Dublinites are a bunch of bloody socialist wankers).

Altogether, I am not surprised that when Tolkien invented Orcs he based them on the natives. Hobbits, by the way, are basically what results after generations of breeding the syphilis and viciousness out of Orcish stock. They are smaller, and more defective, but they're basically the fluffy tea-cup poodles of Middle Earth. With a few bad habits, to be sure.
Over-eating being one of them. Plus armpit lice.


The English are known all over the continent as messy drunks.
As well as largely unintelligible, and arrogant.
And they smell bad.


Hairy feet.
Soggy chips.
Tepid beer.



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