Thursday, September 17, 2020

SMELLS LIKE BURNT HOBBIT

Between the first cup of coffee and the second is an interval for strolling around the neighborhood with a pipe clenched in one's jaw. And I'm quite dismayed that more people do not do so. Certainly Mrs. Wong would look dashing (for an elderly Cantonese woman who is five foot tall) if, in addition to her gay pistachio ice cream hued hat, she had a jaunty pipe jutting out while trotting these hills.

As for the naked man scratching himself outside the nearest drinking establishment, he too would be happier smoking.


I myself, being neither naked nor Chinese, naturally smoke.

By late morning (second bowl) the naked man has disappeared. Maybe he's blended in by putting something on. He's been replaced by a pile of empty beer cans. The Matagrano Inc. delivery truck, long as a house, rounds the corner where there is another truck unloading, with skill and dispatch, and parks just ahead of it fast enough that the oncoming bus can thunder past. Oh good, there will be Bud in the neighborhood.


There are a few more people out. The Chinese Americans are all wearing masks, the white Americans are mostly being dumbasses. As one would expect. Freedoms! Seeing as a good friend now has Covid 19, y'all can have the bloody flux with your freedoms. It's getting too close for comfort, and there are still far too many of you.


Upon my return home, the apartment mate announces "YOU, sir, are lucky to be living with a landlord's daughter! I have plunger skills!"
The first part of that statement I already realized. The second part is completely new to me. I shall not ask. No need to know.


She never walks with a pipe, and hates tobacco. But were it otherwise, I can easily imagine her smoking a nice decent British flake, till she found out that Tolkien also liked it. Whereupon she'd choose a different tobacco entirely.

Gold Block? No. Fribourg & Treyer Golden Mixture?
Perhaps even Erinmore Flake?
Dammit!


Despite his books being long-winded twaddle, his taste in tobacco was normal and decent. We'd probably get along.



TOBACCO INDEX


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1 comment:

Eurus Holmes said...

Smoking whilst naked is generally ill-advised. Though in the past I often indulged when off the medications and hiding out in bedsits in Tottenham or Brixton. Of course, off the medications one can get the idea to use one's arms as an ashtray; there's a good reason I must wear long sleeves when poor Mummy comes to visit. Eldest brother dislikes it, too. Fortunately he permits me my Mayfairs, but how can he judge, he still enjoys his fags (but only low-tar, the lightweight).

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