Thursday, September 24, 2020

MY HOVERCRAFT

Chance research on the internet ("Is Mitch McConnell a degenerate"? "How damn' stupid is our president?") brought me to a youtube music video which I forwarded to a coworker a long time ago, which, to my mind, exemplifies what this modern age is all about. and I should mention that since my apartment mate received her new DVD of Valley Of The Dolls, I have suffered through multiple renditions of the worst lyrics ever. So I know music.

This video is "better":


BUNGA BUNGA

[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=32&v=Pc6IOieGuig&feature=emb_logo.]


My coworker was not ecstatic. As has often been the case when my sense of humour and his did not coincide. He is Venn-diagramatically impaired.

My apartment mate loves the over-the-top acting and rock-bottom writing of Valley Of The Dolls. In which she betrays a great similarity to some of the bitchy queens I know. It is NOT a great movie. And not intentionally campy, which makes it a classic of the queen gentre.
She knows it by heart. All the damned lyrics.



我嘅隻氣墊船裝滿晒鱔!

Long ago, before Covid, a good friend and I would meet every Tuesday night after he got off work for drinks at three different venues, the last one being a karaoke joint where a majority of the regulars were Cantonese gentlemen. Given that I am somewhat conversationally able in Cantonese, I enjoyed it immensely, despite neither singing nor imbibing (no alcohol). He would grow despondent over the fate of the world with so much horrid taste abounding. As you would expect. Especially when young intoxicated Caucasians got up to attempt their favourite rap ballad, Elton John classic, or even heaven-forefend and gottenyu, The Eagles.
Not the Eagles, man, I've had a long day and I hate the Eagles!

I think he'd loathe Bunga Bunga.


As a demonstration of spoken Cantonese, and because it's such a useful sentence, herewith the translation of "my hovercraft is full of eels". Memorize it, it may save your life.


我嘅隻氣墊船裝滿晒鱔!


我嘅隻氣墊船裝滿晒鱔 ('ngo ge jek hei din suen jong mun sai sin'). 我 ('ngo') means 'I' or 'me'. 嘅 ('ge') is used as the possessive in Cantonese, but is not really necessary in this sentence. 隻 ('jek') is a classifier (counting word) for animals, utentsils, and vessels. 氣墊船 ('hei din suen') means hovercraft. 裝 ('jong') is the verb to wear, put on, or fill, or contextually 'filled', 'has been filled'. 滿晒 ('mun sai') is 'full entirely', and note that 晒 ('sai') is, again, strictly Cantonese usage (completely, all, very much, extremely). 鱔 ('sin') are eels; usually the Asian Swamp Eel (Monopterus albus), often reared in rice paddies, and absolutely delicious with garlic, ginger, rice wine, and black bean sauce, or cooked with Thai curry pastes.


炒鳝糊 ('chaau sin wu'): sautéed eel in sauce.
蒜頭豆豉蒸鱔 ('suen tau dau-si jing sin'): garlic and black bean sauce steamed eel.
干煸鳝魚 ('gon pin sin yü'): dry-braised eel with peppers.
氣炸脆鱔 ('hei jaa cheui sin'): crispy batter-fried eel.
花錦鱔稿 ('faa gam sin gou'): braised eel chunks with sauce.
韭黃炒鱔糊 ('gaau wong chaau sin wu'): Stir-fried eel with chives.
豉汁鱔 ('si jap sin'): black-bean sauce eel.




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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Get the f*** out of my cab!

Anonymous said...

How does Mitch McConnell feel about eels?

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ATTENUATED CRAWLING

We avoided the karaoke place because there were too many white people yowling. Life is too short to hear that. White people can't jump. ...