Friday, September 04, 2020

A MAN FULL OF HEART

For people who have taken up smoking in recent years I have incredible sympathy. They will never know the pleasure of low prices for their chosen sins. Alcohol has remained fairly stable, bacon has not jumped in price, but a pack of ciggies will set them back a fair amount. It's almost as if the State of California doesn't want them to afford Woodbines.


Back in the day, a pack of factory-mades was a gold standard, more or less. Why, if you couldn't afford them, you were dirt-poor. Now you're middle class, and barely holding it together.

Tobacco is an essential tool for teachers, especially in homeschooling. Nicotine sharpens the cognitive functions and memory retention, and the teacher's lounge would be nothing without dense clouds of blue smoke.
Anybody tutoring teenagers in higher math, history, or Latin, Greek, or Hebrew, needs a pipe, of course.


Phys. Ed. and Track might require cigars.


I don't know, possibly several glasses of red wine, some marijuana, and prescription drugs would also help. Anything to keep mom and the kids from burning down the damned building.


Y'all have my sympathy. Honest.


Smoke?




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2 comments:

Eurus Holmes said...

Higher maths, history, Latin, Greek, and Hebrew also require the correct attire. A tweed jacket with leather elbow patches is de rigeur for both sexes, as is a turtleneck. Glasses, of course. Comfortable shoes. Well-broken in jeans, or a jersey skirt. And a wristwatch.

The back of the hill said...

Tweedy garment (no elbow patches), baggy pants (not levis), and not wearing a wristwatch (because of a nickel allergy; clasps have nickel in the alloy).
Spectacles, yep.

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