At the back of the hill

Warning: May contain traces of soy, wheat, lecithin and tree nuts. That you are here
strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton.
And that you might like cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2018


Something which people not raised on a diet of English children's books and mystery novels cannot imagine are the odd comestibles with which the British, and American East-coasters, often fed themselves. But I shall refrain from disquisitioning on Bofton Baked Beans or boiled codfish.
I wish to mention 'paste'.

There is an entire world of fine paste out there.

Anchovy paste.
Beef paste (contains miscellaneous animal protein bits plus boiled down chicken skin).
Bloater paste (thank you, Tim, for bringing that up) (*).
Browned shrimp (!) in a jar.
Chicken and ham paste.
Fish paste.
Ham and beef paste.
Sardine and tomato paste.
Tuna and mayonnaise paste.

If you need a substitute for the bloater, anchovy, or shrimp, consider boiled penguin. It's high in Omega 3 acids. Replace everything else with cat food.
Tuna and mayonnaise paste is a convenience that does not need to exist.

Unless, like many people, you do not know how to make tuna salad, and in any case prefer something with the consistency of ......

Shan't say. We run a family blog here. Don't want to offend. Please do not imagine eating any of this.


We Americans have Spam and chicken in a can. Along with tinned Vienna sausages, these can be easily mashed up with a little clarified fat to approximate fine British pastes, and eaten on white bread.
Or add capers, and serve on toast points.
It's cocktail party food.

I avoid cocktail parties.

*Bloater paste is no longer made, btw.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:

All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


  • At 4:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I still have a tin of bloater about somewhere that I dare not open.


  • At 7:20 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    Possibly a ticking tin bomb.

    Is it ..... bloated?

  • At 3:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If it did bulge, that would be ominous, quite unlike a tin of pipe baccy. I haven't seen the ol' bloater in years...perhaps it was "misplaced " in my last move.

    Should I come across it, you may expect a gustatory adventure by return post.



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