Wednesday, June 06, 2018

THE ENORMITY

During the night I dreamed that San Francisco had become a dictatorship of gluten-phobic vegans. For, you understand, our own good. It is a surprising dream, given how much steak and bacon is served in this town, along with crusty French bread and sourdough, and the prevalence of pizza places.
Though I am sure that some would wish it were so.

There is NO such thing as a vegan San Franciscan crab dinner. Yes, there are vegan "equivalents" of crab, but they are in the same ballpark as gluten-free pasta and pizza, or mock roast goose and soy-steak.
Not by a long shot edible.


焗葡國雞飯,燒鴨飯,也許燒鵝。

Today's late lunch will probably be either baked Portuguese chicken rice or roast duck over rice. They are both gluten-free, more or less, and quite as vegetarian as I wish to ever go.

The first consists of a layer of egg-fried rice, on top of which are chunked cooked chicken and potatoes, smothered in a mild Hong Kong and Macao style curry sauce, with shredded cheese liberally strewn over it, stuck under the broiler till bubbly. The second is a fresh plump duck, killed, brushed with a marinade, then roasted at high temperature, before finally being chopped into large chunks and dumped on a mound of rice with some of its juices.

I might go down to Man Jai Kei for roast goose rice instead.


As you can see, no gluten. So half of you pesky food-Protestants could be happy. The other half may wail about dead birds with loving families that deserved to live, so sad, and how could I, oh heartless brute.


Here's German intellectual Werner Herzog:


CHICKENS!

[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhMo4WlBmGM.]

"The enormity of ... of their flat brain, the enormity of their stupidity, is just overwhelming --- the intensity of stupidity that is looking back at you is just amazing."

He could say the same things about many other birds.
Penguins are not, strictly speaking, edible.
But that is hardly relevant.


Everything he said about chickens is also applicable to food-Protestants.


Sometime after dark I will have focaccia with crisped bacon.
And perhaps a fried egg.


慢慢食。




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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Werner Herzog's chicken should be wearing a red MAGA cap.

M

The back of the hill said...

Best comment this week.

The back of the hill said...

Best comment in many weeks.

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