At the back of the hill

Warning: May contain traces of soy, wheat, lecithin and tree nuts. That you are here
strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton.
And that you might like cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Sunday, June 24, 2018


A scare video being circulated by some well-meaning puke brain claims that third-hand smoke is a horrendous danger to little children and asthmatics.
Even in places where no one has smoked in years.
Because, as he explains, particles and chemicals have been deposited on the walls, carpets, floors, and couches, from tobacco fumes far outside and long ago or still vestigially present on the clothing and skin of people.
First hand smoke is dangerous.
Second hand smoke is also.
As is third hand smoke.

Especially to children and asthmatics.

Kindly tell your little puckerhead to stop eating my carpet. Which I haven't had professionally cleaned in years. In addition to tobacco, gluten and meat have also been enjoyed here, lots of spicy cooking, and sheer bucket loads of products containing peanuts! Peanuts! And it's all over the place! If that no-neck monster gets ill or dies because he sucked on my fake Persian rug, that not only ain't my concern, but I might actually welcome it.

No, I shan't smoke anywhere near your house. Reason being that there are still minute but measurable traces of baby poo and your parental neurosis everywhere. That crap makes me ill. Your aura gives me gas. Everything about you and your precious spawn is nauseating.
Poor little buttercups.

The only asthmatics I've ever known were my mother, who smoked, and a sanctimonious whiny twat in the East Bay who was both a liability and an embarrassment to be around. She hated smoking with a passion.

She, her damned cats, and her mobility scooter, can all get the plague.

Every surface in my living quarters can kill.
And I'm totally cool with that.

Care for a smoke?

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


Post a Comment

<< Home

Newer›  ‹Older