At the back of the hill

Warning: May contain traces of soy, wheat, lecithin and tree nuts. That you are here
strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton.
And that you might like cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Friday, June 01, 2018


As an indication of the depth and intensity with which I follow the local team (something something 'Warriors'), it should be noted that when I left work a game was on, when I got home I had a nap of several hours, and woke up for the last pipeful of tobacco after twelve.
So I did not know who won.

The last pipe of the day was a broken blonde flake from Samuel Gawith, lit before heading out to the local public house, finished after I returned. One of my favourite bartenders was dozing at the counter, as a customer.
So it must have been an excellent basket ball game.
I guess the warriors did very well.
The madness continues.

There is no nuance in a win-lose situation.
As a Dutchman, I require gradation.
The neurotic in-between.

I am very glad I was asleep for their victory. Undoubtedly it was stellar, even monumental, and like all right-thinking people they will have celebrated with some aged Virginias, perhaps with Perique. Which may explain why I can't find the remnant of St. James Flake. Those tall athletic types snuck in and stole it. I was positive there was still at least a week's worth left, over twenty bowls, but that would be precisely enough for twenty stalwart six-footers to celebrate an achievement comparable to building the pyramids or discovering the cure for cancer.
I hope they enjoyed it.

The open tin of Golden Glow will be gone by Sunday evening. It's a lovely hot steampressed bright Virginia, rubbed and tumbled, and if you haven't smoked in several hours you will appreciate the delicate old-fashioned fragrance better. You nose-buds will be in the proper condition. If you can smell fresh cut grass or wild anise in the early hours of the day -- or even note that some animal near the gas station died -- you will be receptive.
If, on the other hand, you've huffed more than a dozen pipes since crack of dawn, and have lived off caffeine for that time, maybe you should abstain. Good Virginias require calmness, subtlety, and a capacity for nuance.

Yeah, no. Glad I missed the excitement. I am in my fifties, and I have never paid attention to sports. All I can remember of the last World Cup (soccer) is that we pissed all over the Mexicans. The one before that was won by some country we fought against several centuries ago.
Our tobacco is better than theirs.
Plus we have coffee.


There is one 250 gramme box of St. James Flake left. I should buy it before anyone else does. It's mine, bitches. I saw it first. Much like Van Diemen's land, the Cape of Good Hope, and the Hudson Bay.

If we had co-opted the Zulus, and armed them and trained them, we could have marched all the way to Alexandria and Cairo and kept the British, French, and Germans out.



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