At the back of the hill

Warning: May contain traces of soy, wheat, lecithin and tree nuts. That you are here
strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton.
And that you might like cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Thursday, May 03, 2018


Always ask: "why do you sound constipated?" Sound sincerely concerned when you say it. It throws them for a loop. Then suggest that they should sleep more, because there are circles under their eyes and they look quite worn out. As conversational stratagems neither gambit can be beat. Cock your head while looking them in the eye when they respond.

"I didn't recognize you, you sound so constipated!"

It beats the usual hi how are you how's your kid are your parents all right gout car weather who did you vote for in 2016 discussion.
Far less potentially embarrassing too.

By the middle of the afternoon, as my blood sugar ebs, I often have an urge to say strange things and crack inappropriate witticisms. It is better to just sabotage the discussion right from the beginning.

Bowels! You passionately care about their digestive health. Be like King George the Third's physicians in that regard.

Your social life will be much more interesting if you follow my advice.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


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