At the back of the hill

Warning: May contain traces of soy, wheat, lecithin and tree nuts. That you are here
strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton.
And that you might like cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Saturday, May 26, 2018


Two friends live all the way across the country. Both smoke pipes. She still enjoys the occasional candy tobacco (it used to be worse), he inclines toward flakes and severe VaPers. She has a cat and a lizard, he has a device with which to press Virginias.
She has had a bug recently, has been bed-bound, and via cell-phone text message requested his attendance from elsewhere in their house.

He texted back: "There is no Kaz, there is only Zuul".

Which was in several ways a smart move, as among her demands was "hot as hell Thai food". Which probably needs to be picked up from the next state over, given where they live (somewhere in the Carolinas).


What I had for dinner tonight was not Thai. Boiled Taiwanese won ton with pork filling, on a layer of stalky mustard stirfried with dry chilies, Sriracha sauce, oyster sauce, and ginger. I would've thrown in some smoky bacon, but we're fresh out. It was delicious, and stuff like that prevents bugs.
I suspect that both Mr. and Mrs. Zuul would have like it.

From the internet, primarily Wikipedia: "Zuul the Gatekeeper is a demigod and minion of Gozer. Zuul (/zuːl/) is a genus of herbivorous ankylosaurine dinosaur from the Campanian Judith River Formation of Montana.
The type species is Zuul crurivastator ("destroyer of shins")."

See, most Thais of a culinary bent probably stay the hell away from six or seven meter long shank-whacking reptiles. That's why the "hot as hell" exotic nibbly-munchies might be a bit hard to find locally.
What with it being deeply The South and all.
That's just an educated guess.

What Mr. and Mrs. Zuul need, in their locality, is a good Asian supermarket. That way tasty 'hot as hell' snacks can be thrown together at a moment's notice, with or without curry paste, dry chilies, hot sauce, and ginger.

The walls of their house probably have huge dents, and cracked (smashed and pulverized) plaster. And I bet it's a one-story building.
Large and slow herbivorous reptiles.
With tail clubs.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


Post a Comment

<< Home

Newer›  ‹Older