At the back of the hill

Warning: May contain traces of soy, wheat, lecithin and tree nuts. That you are here
strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton.
And that you might like cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Friday, May 11, 2018


During the past week alone there have been several incidents, filmed and loaded up to Facebook, that show white people in an unfavourable light in their interactions with black people. And it seems to me that many black people ("darknesses") always fail to understand the basic dynamic.
Which is that we white people are sensitive souls.
Who inherited fundamental rights.
To everything.


Dear black people,

Stop sleeping. When you sleep, especially on a pile of books in a common room at Yale University, it disquiets us. We feel that it's inappropriate.
And an invasion of our space. Instead, be warily on guard.

Stop eating. Especially at late night franchises. There is a proper time and place to do that. We don't do that at such times around you, do we?
We wouldn't dare. And please do not laugh boisterously.

Do not attempt to use buffet coupons at a pizza place. The idea of black people enjoying a scrumptious meal and becoming regular customers is discordant. You have other times and places!

Do not barbecue outdoors on a Sunday. Especially not by the lake. That body of water is there for everyone's enjoyment, and both charcoal and chickens trigger us more than we can bear.

Above all, show some respect. We gave you pot. And chicken.

*      *      *      *      *

In other news, I apologize profoundly for being in several photos taken by tourists in Chinatown. And I am sorry that their relatives will now think that Chinatown is filled with middle-aged white men smoking pipes. Instead of colourful natives wearing flowered gowns and doing ethnic things.
That, too, is completely disquieting, and discordant.

I'm probably going to do it again, though.
Lunchtime is fast approaching.
I need some Kung Pao.

Don't call the cops.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


Post a Comment

<< Home

Newer›  ‹Older