THERE ARE COOKIES!

A friend squeals whenever I mention Jimmy Choo shoes. The words Prada, Christian Louboutin, and Michael Kors also have a profoundly orgasmic effect. It is NOT that I don't want her to have such bliss, but first of all she's already married and her husband should be responsible for tremors, and secondly, I disapprove entirely. If cookies had that effect, I still would not give her cookies. Some other woman, maybe.
I'm waiting till I meet the right one.

It would be wrong to deduce from this that I lurk in dark alleys with a tin of cookies, for instance the Kirkland European Cookies With Belgian Chocolate, or the Lambertz Best Selection Biscuit Assortment, or Griesson Imported European Cookies Café Musica, but I will shamefacedly admit that I have thought about it.

[Conceivably a pack of Khong Guan Lemon Puff Biscuits, maybe almond cookies from Eastern Bakery, or several scrumptious items from Shubert's Bakery on Clement Street. Shubert's is perhaps best known for their Swedish Princess Cake, and the Tiramisu.]


The idea of jumping out at a likely prospect with a warm smile and a tray of snackipoos just isn't workable.


"Hello miss, can I tempt you with a yummy treat?"


Luring younger people with sweets has had a very bad rap ever since that horrible fairy tale. They lock people up for that nowadays.
Besides, far too few women make the right choices.

The pervert shoving designer shoes always attracts favourable feminine attention. Of course he also ends up with sh*tferbrains shoppaholics, which is a major problem, but even the most crunchy-prone miss shies away from pipe-smoking devils with a plate of cookies and a steaming pot of tea, such as my hypothetical prowling self.

At least I think they do.

Never tried it.



One of these days I just might ask some young lady whether she would like to go have tea and cookies with me. Who knows, it might actually appeal to her. At a very minimum, she won't call the cops if I do it in daylight, and don't act like a dirty old man.


The company of a woman who likes cookies is much to be preferred over anyone who falls for ridiculous footwear.


Always.



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