At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Sunday, February 07, 2016


We closed at three today so that the cigar smokers in the lounge could enjoy the Superbowl in quiet undisturbed comfort, screaming and yelling, with no incriminating cellphone photos, nor reports of their unseemly hi-jincks reaching their wives.

These are people whom I see nearly everyday. We get along well.
They brought a tonne of food. Arranged a veritable feast.
All spread out, buffet style, where I was working.

They invited my co-worker to eat with them.

They and their food started arriving before two o'clock, serious eating began shortly thereafter. And some of that food smelled absolutely wonderful, even over the cigar fumes. I had to pass by frequently while working.

The fragrance permeated my working area.

I left at five o'clock, having cleaned up nine fine briars after we closed, for a customer who is moving across country.

They were still noshing at that time, there was that much food.


I'm home, and I finally had lunch, moments ago. It was just a convenient microwaveable item purchased from a shop around the corner from my apartment. The uninspiring sandwich I brought to work in the morning from 7-eleven will be still in the refrigerator tomorrow when I get in.

[Here are a few phrases that were never uttered by the organizers of the ad-hoc picnic:
"Have you had lunch yet?" "Would you like a bit to eat?" "Have some of this!"
"Surely you'll enjoy a bite?" "Have some food!" "Please, take a plate!"

"Say, it's right around your lunchtime, why don't you join us!"
"Please eat something!" "Are you hungry?"]

It is NOT that I necessarily wished to be included, but what happened was completely and clearly the opposite.
Done deliberately.

By the time the football game had started, an invite would have been politely demurred with either one of two face-saving lies: "no thank you, I've already eaten", or "no thank you, I'm too busy right now".

If at such a moment I said that I wasn't hungry it would have been the truth.
I had lost my appetite, and wouldn't have enjoyed eating at all.

[In any case, no grudging leftovers were proffered, so that is a moot point.]

Consuming my 7-eleven sandwich anytime between two and five o'clock might likely have been seen as "the insult and exclusion of the individual has been registered and understood", or maybe "what the hell is wrong with him?" It could also have been taken as pissing on every one else's parade. Whatever; avidly interpreted or mis-interpreted, and one should rather not have one's humble crust subjected to analysis and undue interest.

Especially when it cannot compare to the exquisite and varied dainties that every single other person present is having.

[Hypothetical conversation that did not, and will never take place: "Did you have some of the food?" "No." "Why not?" "Because I was not offered any." "Then why didn't you say something!?!" "Hell will effing freeze over before I whine to please be included!" "Don't be so stupid! You could have eaten!" "Am I a beggar?!?" ('And screw all of you cocksure oafs.')]

My coworker, who is staying until the game is over, is welcome to their company.

No, I actually can't stand football, and sportsfans get on my nerves.
They tend to be a crude and graceless lot.
Complete swine.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.



  • At 2:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You may consider their refusal to invite you to partake of their food and company as a badge of honour: You are not one of their degenerate tribe.



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