Monday, April 22, 2024

MAKE IT MEAN SOMETHING

A casual acquaintance suggested that using Latin and Greek terminology for scientific names of plants and animals reflected a Eurocentic male colonialist bias. Instead, he offered, that obscure nearly dead languages should be utilized, preferably spoken by many women.

To which I happily agreed, as I am all in favour of centre-staging unpronounceable shiznit and thus bringing more light to unknown or little known and fast disappearing tongues. Especially those that the speakers of have weird dietary practices and tattoos.


All hail the big burnt Sienna-hued mother goddess!

In whom, as a sceptic, I don't believe.


In keeping with that, I propose that a common waterfowl know all over the world henceforth be named the Ensu-munomakese Awonhoyetan Anafonoyeborodema.
Which, I feel, is clearer and more memorable.

A resonant appellation.
'BIG DUCK-LIKE BIRD WITH FIERY CHEEKS'

It's quite edible, I believe. Good with a fruit compôte. Or lemons and ledidi.


No clue why I immediately thought of podiceps. Perhaps because there are marshes all around the bay, and naturally a man wonders what dead seagull tastes like. Can they be prepared in a festive manner? Perhaps lots of garlic. My experience with using garlic in cooking fowl is that it ends up reminiscent of certain brands of salami -- it's that oiliness combined with dense flesh; the garlic disguises the grease nicely -- and seagulls are a renewable resource and widely available.
A diet for a dying planet.

That's why I urge you to serve seagull at your next July Fourth celebration. You have slightly over two months to experiment and come up with a perfect recipe. It will symbolize Martha Washington's bond with nature and her spiritual sisterhood with repressed peoples.
This truly will be a nation-building feast!

Better than hotdogs.




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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your sarcasm is always appreciated, though you, and I, will always be viewed as Eurocentric male colonists by the intersectional feminist crowd.

Anyway, I think I’d rather consume a couple hot dogs than partake of deceased seagull, though I say this as never having sampled domestic pigeon.

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