Tuesday, July 04, 2023

THIS! THIS IS THE SMELL OF VICTORY!

Something that could easily be sold to the pipe smokers who suffer from severe handicaps in matters of taste would be a smoking mixture containing the following flavours or artificial aromas: vanilla, orange, honey, walnuts, rootbeer, blackberry, raspberry, cherry, whiskey and caramel. With a subtle top dressing of hibiscus. This is based on research that took me all of five minutes, which I will never have again.

The hibiscus odour was inspired by the most popular beverage masquerading as tea in this country when I returned years ago. Because real tea gets dumped in harbours. And many Americans don't like pure simple good quality stuff anyway, as is proven by the most popular choices down at the hot beverage franchise where they get your name wrong.

Hence all those added flavours. Eighty percent plus of the pipe tobacco sold in this country is souped up with that. Same goes for pipe tobacco in Europe and the rest of the world, which just goes to show that they're no better than us, snooty attitudes to the contrary.

The biggest consumers of cooked burley tobacco with fruit essences are the Danes. Which is understandable, and has a lot to do with their cuisine, I would guess.

[In all fairness, the Dutch (my people) invented Clan (possibly the worst tobacco product ever), as well as Niemeyer Scottish Mixture and Niemeyer Irish Mixture, but at least their food has more 'oomph'. The Danes have øllebrød.]
Vanilla, orange, honey, walnuts, rootbeer, blackberry,
raspberry, cherry, whiskey and caramel, with hibiscus

Naturally I would not smoke it. Because I'm not patriotic.

But I have it on good authority that George Washington would like this. It could remind him of cherry trees, for which he had a thing I believe. Probably also effective against space aliens.



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