Friday, November 08, 2019

OK BOOMER

Yesterday heading over to my job I had two words in my head: ok boomer. Until a few days ago I had never heard the phrase, and it hasn't even been flung in my direction (yet). I'd like to point out, pre-emptively, that like the downstairs heater I am old and idiosyncratic.
Plus I can make your life hell, sonny boy, and I'm leaving your entire inheritance to a shelter for cats.


Actually, I do not know anyone who would use the phrase when disagreeing with any of my statements.


On the other hand, I can't wait to use it on three of the boys in the back, who are younger than me, but a lot more retarded, and unabashed MAGA dumbasses to boot. I have tried to abash them, it hasn't worked.

I like the phrase "ok boomer", it speaks to me. Unfortunately, as boomer seems defined as a person between 35 and 75, it could be directed at me. Back in my day, boomer meant someone born in the decade after the war (clarification: WWII), but since then folks who are too young to understand that Reagan really is the worst president ever have inherited the earth.

I am too young to have written bad poetry during the 'Beat Era', or enjoyed the riotous drug-crazed sex of the hippie generation (flower power), but too old to be scared of gluten and red meat.

My generation seems so innocent. The only things setting our time apart were pot, coke, and crack, plus economic malaise and the bourgeois dreariness that gave birth to Axel Rose, Bon Jovi, and Metallica.

I have never worn tie-dye anything.

Vaccination saves lives.

Ok boomer.

My hovercraft is full of eels!


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