THE CROAK

A classic 'Croque Monsieur' consists of Emmenthal cheese and deli ham between two slices of softcrust bread, optionally with a smear of Dijon mustard, baked or fried and served hot. A variation is to put the cheese on top of the sandwich and stick it under the broiler. It's French pub grub.

Personally, I think it's much improved if, instead of the thin smear of froggish moutarde, you apply a generous smear of sambal badjak. Which, naturally, you should have in your fridge. Additionally some thinly sliced Jalapeño pepper with the ham and cheese.

[Sambal badjak is made by frying a paste of Thai or birdseye chilies, shallots, garlic, and stinky shrimp paste plus salt (in order of decreasing qauntity, so mostly chilies) till it starts to caramelize and turn brown. Then add a hefty squeeze of lime juice -- one or two limes -- and refry. when it's stiff and the oil comes out, it is done, and properly made it will keep even at room temperature for quite a while. But it is best to store it in the refrigerator, because you will make a large quantity. The idea is that the cooking has removed most of the moisture, and the lime juice, oil, and salt, will act as a preservative or pickling agent.]

In fact, much of French cuisine is improved by the addition of sambal badjak. English and Swedish cooking is also often inedible without it, although often a stronger sambal is required, which is where Habaneros, Scotch Bonnets, and Madame Jeanettes come into play. Adjuma chilies may be substituted.


The last time I visited England, I had a tiny pocket jar of "bush paste" (sambal asin made with dehydrated Habanero chilies; it keeps nearly forever at room temperature) which I carried everywhere. Nobody noticed when I doctored my food, and it made everything so much more enjoyable. Much food in the American suburbs would benefit from the same treatment. Fortunately I have a bottle of Sriracha in the refrigerator at work, which, when used in sufficient quantity, will also stand in as the vegetable component of the meal.


My recent glib comments about Swedish food prompted a reader to post a link to a surströmming consumption video under the "brexit essay"
Um. Yes. No. Surströmming is a crime against humanity.
Anything except "groene haring" is a crime.
Le premier hareng de la saison.

[There are good reasons why the international language of haute cuisine is French, and not Swedish. Despite both cultures inexplicably avoiding sambal, without which normal human society cannot be sustained in the hinterlands.]


This blogger still fondly remembers the Indonesian goat curry, as well as the kouseband sandwich ('kouseband' is what Surinamers call long beans, so savoury stewed longbeans with salt fish in a firm roll; "broodje kouseband") which were richly augmented with a brilliant yellow sambal oelek made from ripe Madame Jeanette peppers.

Delicious, and almost a good enough reason to visit Amsterdam.

Actually, nearly everything I ate in Amsterdam the last time I was there was delicious. A large part of that was the widespread availability of sambal.



POST SCRIPTUM

Mayonnaise, as is well known, was invented during the Viking age by the Scandinavians as a way to make English and Irish food palatable.
A chef named Ranzige Olaf is widely credited with it.
Chilies weren't available at that time.
So sambal was unknown.


I had a croque monsieur with sambal badjak and sliced tangy apples for dinner this evening. Hence this essay.




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