At the back of the hill

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Tuesday, April 10, 2018


There is something delightful about having a local watering hole, especially after a long day at work. But this neighborhood is a wasteland. I stopped going to one place because of the behaviour of some of the regulars. I don't go to another for the same reason. Won't ever go a third because it's a zoo, and every time I walk by a fourth bar it looks like the lizard aliens are having a mating frenzy in there. Meat racks, pick-up joints, sports bars, or places where expensive techno-yuppies drink wine.

That leaves a fifth place.

A friend wrote "lighten up, people are just trying to unwind and have an enjoyable evening". Which is why I shall not be going there for a while.
I have ditched that dive three times over the years, and I think I should do so once more, for much longer this time. Because, after all, I am a frightful cheapskate, besides being old, arthritic, and white. As well as keenly desirous of having an enjoyable evening, while unwinding.
Which can easily be done by myself.

And, if you think about it, there is something quite insane about going to a karaoke bar when I don't sing, hate karaoke, and dislike noise, and then leaving the drink I bought untended while I spend most of the time alone outside smoking my pipe.

However, the bar is upstairs, and the downstairs portico is convenient because it puts distance between me and caterwauling egomaniacs.

Wandering around Nob Hill with a pipe on my own makes more sense.
It will be quieter, especially when it rains.
And it's also more 'social', too.
Better company.

"People are just trying to unwind and have an enjoyable evening"

Clearly that's not my reason for going there.

I'm rather an idiot at times. I started frequenting the place again, after a long hiatus, several months ago. I like three people who work there, and a few regulars. But most of the customers are too arrogant and pissy to even say 'hi', and some evenings there is a stand-offish crowd at one end of the bar who actively dislike me, so I've avoided the place on those days.

[Mostly Sundays; sports fishermen night.]

I think those people are now dominant. The last few times I went were exercises in solitude. Very loud unpleasant solitude. Perhaps because someone like me should not unwind and have an enjoyable evening.

[That seems to be a consensus.]

As a social experience the place is a disaster.

Too much Frank Sinatra, not enough Bing Crosby.

I'll miss some of those people. But they probably won't miss me.
I'm not social, and I don't sing.

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


  • At 12:13 PM, Anonymous A concerted friend said…

    You shouldn't go there again until it's changed hands or a few of those shits have died.

  • At 12:31 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    A few? A few?!? Heck, man, I'm not so Christian.

    How about well over a dozen?

    Including several of the happy hour crowd, whom I've largely avoided for seven years, ever since the chunky Latina bartender acted snippy (she hasn't worked there since 2011 or 2012, but she was why I avoided the place for three years). Most of the dingos at the back of the bar where I used to sit. And a fair number of the "regulars", especially the large heffa who never responded whenever I greeted her (she sings well, though).

    Oh, and almost all of the Asians.

    Plus some of the older guys who get drunk and start talking about sex.

    Most of the Chads.

    Yeah, the more I think about it, the more resolved I am to not go there till then.

  • At 12:35 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    The more I think about it, the more that stony silence whenever I wished many of the regulars 'good day' galls me.

  • At 2:19 PM, Anonymous Pooh said…

    "especially the large heffa"

    You mean big black Bitchzilla?

  • At 3:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You're a douchbag, you know that? Good luck finding another watering hole.

  • At 8:27 AM, Anonymous Queen A, there is no Queen B said…

    Caterwauling egomaniacs? How rude! I'll have you know that I am an artiste!

  • At 6:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You are so delusional. You come in and never say hi to anyone but yet, they should say hi to you. "Asians"? For someone who says they are well traveled and was married to an Asian woman, you still call people "Chinese". I know because I was there. You are so self-centered and frankly, cranky, rude and a narcissist. Check yourself. You don't get the world without giving out a penny. And calling ppl by their physical attributes... Kettle black. You are not the looker and your attitude doesn't make up for it. No one misses your bullshit.
    On a side note, you should check your prescription for your glasses because you are not seeing anything but blurred lines.

  • At 8:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Those are kind words. BTW, any blog that needs to have the comments reviewed and approved, just proves they are not open to criticism.

  • At 9:27 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    "BTW, any blog that needs to have the comments reviewed and approved, just proves they are not open to criticism."

    No, there's a history of people naming names and putting private details in the comments. That is why comments will be reviewed.

    No names. No home addresses. No mention of work places or any other details that could get someone in trouble.

  • At 9:30 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    To anonymous at 6:34:

    That comment is too well-written to be just anybody. I know who you are.
    And yes, you are one of those people who hardly ever said 'hi'.

  • At 10:08 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    To everybody, please note that the name of the drinking venue is not mentioned anywhere on this site.

    Nor are the names of any of the people stated.
    Even the ones I would wish to excoriate.

  • At 11:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The reason we never said hi to you is because your such a fucking bore.

  • At 11:42 PM, Anonymous Kris the fucking boss said…

    You're lucky you got out alive. The Yelp reviews make clear that the place is a shit hole with violent staff.

    Never seen so many angry Yelpers in my life!

    Fuck them.

  • At 1:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You are an arrogant boring fake.

    Nobody believes that riduiculous accent.

  • At 12:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    MOst of us thought you were a pretentious bore, dude. But we didn't pay any attention, so we never bothered saying hello.
    Have a good rest of your life.

  • At 7:52 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Fuck off and die fast, you stupid smelly small dicked British dickwad.

  • At 12:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Your such a fucking asshole nobody wants you there, so good riddance. Please stay away. Pleas. Stay. The. Fuck. Away.

  • At 2:22 AM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    I will indeed stay away. Gladly.

  • At 9:22 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I always thought something alive would crawl out of your nose when you weren't looking.

  • At 1:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We found out that you are an asshat. That's why. We never liked you. Your breath smells bad, you have lousy taste in clothes, your eyes are squinty and mean.

    Have you considered plastic surgery? You need it, you are uglier than a dog. Also, therapy for that speech defect, and a colestomy bag.

  • At 3:04 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    To Anonymous at 1:42 PM:

    Plastic surgery, you say?

    As for the colostomy bag, they took that away when I threw it at someone who sang badly.
    I think it was a Filipino.

  • At 3:06 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    To Anonymous at 9:22 AM:

    No, that's not where your relatives are. Have you checked your refrigerator?

  • At 3:10 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    To 'Kris the fucking boss':

    You're right. The Yelp reviews are a hoot. Thanks for pointing me in that direction.

    It's disconcerting that an establishment with all that going on is in our neighborhood, scarcely three blocks away from the nearest child-care centers and schools.

    Perhaps someone should alert the authorities?

  • At 3:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It was inevitable that your flat chested Vietnamese wife left you. You must have been the wordl's most boring screw. She's probably banging everyrhing eles now. And you are dry tesyicled beef jerky, no pepper.

  • At 2:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You are most likely to die of constipation. We don't want to be near you when that happens. It would be SO ambaressing!

    That's why we never said hi.

    We don't want to be near you when it happens.

  • At 2:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Never did like that smirk, the boatee, that paunch, or the thin Asian woman.
    Fat face.

  • At 2:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Scottish accent?

  • At 5:02 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    Anon at 2:14 PM: Not likely. You, however, should die lonely and screaming on the plugged-up toilet of a deserted care facility.

    Anon at 2:20 PM: Not a smirk, a scowl. No paunch. Thin Asian woman? Maybe you're thinking of some other asshole.

    Anon at 2:51 PM: Do you honestly hear Groundskeeper Willie when I open my mouth? I would've thought Moe Szyzlak. Who is Dutch.

  • At 2:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You think only your kind of people are real Americans, every one else is not.

  • At 2:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You are such a cunt.

  • At 3:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Your e a fcuking godaamned mother fucker, you know that. ight?

  • At 3:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dam fucker/

  • At 9:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You really should be here now. We're having a fabulous time. Singing, drinks, good looking pepople...

    Oh, it's fabulous!


  • At 12:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Instead of being a silent drunk among loudly singing drunks, have you considered therapy? They won't change, and maybe if you start singling loudly, you might be more acceptable to them.

    What have you got to lose?

    Expect your voice.

  • At 12:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    "Naked gunman kills four in Nashville Waffle House"

    You on vacation?

  • At 1:09 PM, Anonymous Richard said…

    You're a bitter, bitter little man.

    Sometimes you need to just let go.

  • At 7:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You are on of the biggest cunts on the planet.

  • At 8:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It must rain a lot in your world.

  • At 1:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    No fair! You pissed on them, you should keep going there so that they can piss all over you!

  • At 12:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Who the hell do you think you are? You come here, stick to yourself, and scowl. You sneer at the singing, even if someone is putting all of himself into it. Then you go downstairs and block the doorway with your smoke, and you expect people to treat you like a king. You are a really arrogant and unpleanast eccentric.

    A very bad tempered old man.

    Your tobacco stinks.

  • At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm glad you're gone. Your presence was a bit of a downer, and everybody seems much happier now.

  • At 3:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We had so much fun tonight, it would have given a grumpy old fucker a heartattack.

    Or an ulcer.

    You should've been there.

  • At 3:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I get it. Your an "involuntary celibate" and harbor resentment towards the normal people.

    That explians your mysanthropy, mysogynny, racism, and everything else.

  • At 3:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    You've already pissed off everyone at other places? Congratulations, such success!

  • At 3:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    And so the penguin of despair heads off to the arctic wastes south of Market Street, to satisfy his brutal nature with fresh victims.


  • At 3:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If you were fishing, the worms are biting. Which is what you were aiming for anyway.

  • At 3:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Grumpy old fuckers NEED heart attacks. WHILE they have ulcers.

  • At 8:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Weren't you hot for that scrawny Vietnamese woman once? Too bad she found someone marginally more stupid.

  • At 11:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Does that fat fuck with glasses you always hung out with still go there? He sang with great passion, and he was fun to look at when his paunch was visible, jiggling were his shirt ended. Good singer. Most likely to go postal on us.

  • At 12:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh pulleeze! An elderly cocksucker with a beard and glasses needs handholding! You're such a drama queen.

  • At 12:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    And maybe you need some nice warm milk too. Poor baby!

  • At 12:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I can't believe you're whining about the welcome you received, when you yourself never talked to anybody. What a stuck up dick!

  • At 12:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We're all waiting for an attitude adjustment, you arrogant twat-wattle.

  • At 12:21 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Revenge is a dish best served cold. Unlike hatred bordering on nausea, which is best hot, flaming hot.

    We're all warm about you. The longer you stay away, the better it gets.

  • At 1:18 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dude, you're a fucking bigot. As you make very clear here: Angry Asian Man

    You really don't like anyone and no one really likes you. Surprise.

  • At 1:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dude, you're a fucking bigot. As you make very clear here: Angry Asian Man

    You really don't like anyone, and no one really likes you. Surprise.

  • At 1:46 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    Yeah, Anonymous at 1:18 PM and 1:19 PM, that is correct.

    For more about the Philippines and those people, read this entire list: Bananamalaca├▒anganananana Republic


  • At 1:51 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    Bago'ong, son. I love the smell of bago'ong in the morning, nothing else smells like that. The smell, that briny smell, the whole place.


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