One of the most irritating things in San Francisco is fusion cuisine, that being what happens when a Caucasian chef discovers Asian ingredients and does something "creative", claiming that it is better than the original, but inspired by the original. Or does something totally boring, but because she's white and college educated she gets to call it something exotic, charge fifty dollars per serving, and not even acknowledge her immense debt to the five dollars a plate lunchcounter that inspired her.
White folks appropriating Asian culture.
Which I do all the time.
Fried pork burger over rice? Quintessentially Chinatown.
Hot dog chunks cut with bokchoi? Ditto.
"They" appropriate too.
Except, of course, they do it at home, and then sit in front of the teevee laughing at a Brit comedy series, or sumpin'.
I did fried noodles tonight. Bittermelon and bacon chowmein, with a grilled bockwurst. Totally Asian, no German or Englishman would recognize it. Ergo and therefore it's Asian, man.
Partially pancrisped, with chopped chilies, sambal, fermented bean paste, and garlic. I didn't want to use shrimp paste, as I wasn't aiming for a Filipino taste. And sure, a Chinese person would probably have used charsiu or siu yiuk instead of bacon, as well as scallion and ginger in lieu of garlic.
And absolutely no hot stuff. No chilies, no sambal.
They might omit the bockwurst entirely.
Do NOT omit the bockwurst! Life is better with bockwurst!
Sambal, by the way, is Dutch, Ceylonese, Malay, Indonesian, South African, Surinamese, Peranakan, and Dutch-American.
But as I know it, mostly Dutch.
I'm fairly sure bockwurst is German, not Chinese.
Probably hands down the worst example of cross-cultural mish-moshing was Martin Yan during the season when his sponsors were a soy sauce company, salted almonds, canned pineapple, tofu, and California Cheese. But I shall not call it cultural appropriation, because I cannot think of a single demographic to which it might appeal.
Well, maybe white people.
Anyhow, to conclude, I totally cooked Asian tonight.
Your food is now my food, I own it.
Chinese, you betcha.
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