TAKE YOUR TURBAN OFF!

The TSA occasionally lays an egg. For instance, by asking a Sikh to take off his turban. Because there might be illegal drugs, fruit, or bugs hidden in the folds of cloth, and heavens to Betsy(!) we don't want anymore invasive species messing up California agriculture, like the red palm weevil, Malayan longhorn beetles, the Mediterranean fruit fly, the false coddling moth, or the frightful dustbowl Oklahoman.
Just examples.

The problem is that once you take off your turban (dastar, pagri, pagg), you have to put it back on. Which, for the beautifully creased Patiala Shahi Pagri, can take up to twenty minutes.


Now, you might think "what's the big deal, it's just an item of clothing, like underwear...?"

I once put my underwear on backward when rushing out of the house, and let me tell you, it changed my entire day. Please imagine a ten hour flight with your boxers on backwards. At the very least, it diminishes your self confidence.

I also want the Punjabi sitting next to me to look and feel his best.

Because a disgruntled Punjabi is very bad news.

Things just could happen.

"Things."


Here's JusReign explaining the issue gently:


EK EK LAD AASI SOCH SOCH BANIYE ...


[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1wHBx9ErSM.]


Now, I understand safety, the panicky scared shitless Texan housewives and paranoid rednecks, and all that, and I acknowledge that the mental comfort of Texans and rednecks is crucial to a peaceful flight from civilisation to Bun-Fudge, Mississippi.
So, take the turban off.

But it should not be in a private room with no mirror. Instead, to allay ALL suspicion, it should be while in line, one by one, for however long it may take to do a neat crisp Patiala Shahi Pagri, with creases exactly so.

Even if it delays the flight.

I am okay with the flight being delayed.

There are two important considerata: 1) the mental peace of poor trembling Texans and paranoid rednecks, lord knows we want them to shut up, those accents and stupid utterances, dang, an eight hour flight, and 2) proper turban etiquette.

It's worth it to all of us. We want the Texans and rednecks to be quiet.



Seriously, we'd LOVE the Texans to shut up. We'd really really like it if all the Texans and rednecks just shut the hell up. Go one, piss off, and shut the F up, you lot. And take Bush and Cruz with you.
Plus Greg Abbot and the Ledge.



What the hell are Texans and rednecks doing flying between San Francisco and Toronto anyway? Are they refugees?



They can't be soaking up culture, they're non-absorbent!



Come back to San Francisco, mister Jasmeet Singh. We need more of you and less of the Texans. And rednecks. Texans and rednecks are an invasive pest.




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