Dear Mexico,
You may have noticed that certain candidates for the Republican party presidential nomination have said vicious things about you lately.
Please rest assured, that is NOT reflective of the majority of our nation.
We are better than that, and we treasure the close ties that we have with you, and appreciate you as a colleague and friend.
Well, other than a large number of morons in the Deep South.
Whom we would rather not be related to, nor associate with.
Oh, and some dunderheads in Marin and Orange Counties.
We are sorry that the only side of us that most of you see is either our stubby-fingered blowhards, or drunken college kids on vacation. Yes, they are horribly embarrassing, as are their uncouth cousins Inbred Jed and Joe Redneck, but like the bigots involved with our peculiar brand of Christianity, they are a social and geographic minority.
Anyhow, we apologize for them, although not on their behalf. They are a problem, and we are trying to deal with them as best we can. Please be patient; some of us still have a lot of growing up to do.
Sincere regards,
Your Yankee neighbors.
PS. Sorry about Texas. That was a horrible mistake.
We realize that now.
And we understand why you don't want it back.
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NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
LETTER BOX.
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.
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THEIR NATURAL HABITAT
There are more dogs in this neighborhood than children. One very rarely sees people walking their children outside when one is, hypothetical...
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I suppose, if I come through your window in the middle of the night, you will put me in your bed for the remainder of the night and feed me breakfast in the morning? I only came in to get your laptop.
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