At the back of the hill

Warning: If you stay here long enough you will gain weight! Grazing here strongly suggests that you are either omnivorous, or a glutton. And you might like cheese-doodles.
BTW: I'm presently searching for another person who likes cheese-doodles.
Please form a caseophilic line to the right. Thank you.

Saturday, March 26, 2016


This blogger had honestly presumed that his pipe-smoking, facial hair, and other evident signs of mature peculiarity would be enough to scare off the timorous virgins. Not, mind you, that such was the actual plan.
But anybody who wished to tackle me, from a dating standpoint, needed to know what they were in for: undisguised imperfection.
And I rather enjoyed the depressing loneliness.
At least there was nothing objectionable.
No surprises, no drama.

But I may have been overly placid.

The other day a very nice waitress at one of my favourite eateries in Chinatown asked me why I always ate alone, and, having received the answer she expected (我未結婚 'ngo mei git-fan'), promptly asked if she could introduce me to someone. Would I, she wanted to know, be willing to meet a friend of hers? Someone who was even ten years younger than herself? She was willing to make an introduction!

Maybe, maybe, maybe, let me think about it.

Nice that she considers me a 'prospect'

But it's almighty surprising too.


[Notes: 我未結婚 ('ngo mei git-fan') literally means "I am not yet married", more correctly 未娶 ('mei cheui', not hitched, an unmarried man), but the natural expectation in the Chinese scheme of things is that one should and eventually will marry. Ten years younger could mean almost anything, and given that I assume the waitress herself to be between mid twenties and mid forties -- I am a lousy judge of age -- that is a very broad range.]

Gotta go.

The other day someone said that I was in a rut.
Yes, I am. Have been since I was born.

This is relevant, because I do not think I'll ever be ready to date cross-lingually. Far too frustrating. Both parties must be able to communicate with each other, and though I am somewhat conversationally capable in Chinese, and even have a little facility with the written language, by far my best languages are English and Dutch. Which means that the other party, even if tongue-tied, needs to be an English-speaker.

How else would I able explain anything about myself?

And how would I be able to understand her?

Or grasp her expectations?

The other thing is that I am NOT a suitable match, what with being not prosperous nor an outstanding middle-class success, and I rather doubt that most women are in it for the sheer fun of dealing with eccentrics whose idea of a darn good time is a good book, a pot of tea, a pipe, and a comfortable throw rug.

Why, if I had to pack for a journey, that's exactly what I would pack: books, tea, a teapot, cup, pipes and tobacco, matches, and a comfortable throw rug. Plus, perhaps, a mosquito net.

I am somewhat scared to go back to that cha chanteng now. I don't know what is going to happen if and when I do, nor do I have a clue how to communicate that whoever the person is, it almost certainly would be a disappointing waste of her time, and she might be far better advised to look elsewhere from the very beginning.
Doing so would be face-saving for everyone.

I would be comfortable dating a woman who already knew much about me. Such a woman would have to be stubborn, independent-minded, and possessed of a keen appreciation for absurdity.

Why would she want to?

NOTE: Readers may contact me directly:
All correspondence will be kept in confidence.


  • At 5:42 AM, Anonymous Matchmaker said…

    You say that you "would be comfortable dating a woman who already knew much about". Well, fortunately there's a ton of information and data about you on this blog, and one doesn't even need a password to access it. Maybe Liza has even read it!

  • At 10:25 AM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    Doubt it.

  • At 5:42 PM, Anonymous Matchmaker said…

    Such an interesting and detailed blog, out in public on the Internet? Why on earth would she NOT have read it?

  • At 7:35 PM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    For the very simple reason that most people do not ever see it. Those that do are less than one percent of one percent of one percent of all the people who can read English.

    If you factor out pipe smokers and the food curious, the remainder are so minute an audience that the chance of any specific person ever have visited this blog is statistically zero.

    I am as more than reasonably certain that Liza has never seen it as I am that no one in Chinatown ever has.
    And they would be more likely to find interesting stuff here.

  • At 9:14 PM, Anonymous Matchmaker said…

    Why don't you do better marketing/advertising of the blog, then?

  • At 5:53 AM, Anonymous Anonimus said…

    Liza Who?

  • At 6:59 AM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    "Why don't you do better marketing/advertising of the blog, then?"

    Because it's a hobby, not a job. This blog should be considered a notebook, or, perhaps, graffito scrawled on a wall.

    It's not Herb Caen or Charles McCabe.

  • At 7:01 AM, Blogger The back of the hill said…

    Anonimus at 5:53 AM;

    "Matchmaker" has a bee in his bonnet about Liza Minelli. It's quite inexplicable.

    He's made previous comments featuring her. Strange.


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Newer›  ‹Older