CONSIDER THE WILDLIFE

Somebody asked me the other day, in all seriousness, to think about the children. I frankly refuse to do so. Children are creatures you cannot reason with, should never trust around dangerous or breakable objects, and who have no modulation or self-restraint. Little psychopaths, often till years after graduating from college. Or charm school.
Do NOT trust the little monsters around weapons or explosives.

Afghanistan and Pakistan show you what happens when you do.
Maybe I should think about the children.
Self-protectively.


You've seen that movie 'The Exorcist'? Yes?
That's what children are like.
The little angels.


I would much rather think about little animals. Not the ones that pooh all over themselves, but the ones who are cleanly and fastidious from the crib up.
I rather like animals.

What a pity that they cannot be taught to use utensils when eating. Chopsticks or cutlery.

If that were possible, it would be great to invite them out to restaurants. Don't look at me, look at my charming companion! Observe how deftly he or she takes little bites!
Such excellent table manners! And no mess!


Another great advantage of small furry creatures is that, what with being usually up to four feet below the pipe, they will probably not complain about the smell of my tobacco.

This is an extremely practical consideration.



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