Wednesday, February 03, 2016

VISITS FROM THE LOBSTER FAIRY

My apartment mate has declared that the reason she should eat lobster is because it is low calorie, and very healthy for Cantonese people. She is Cantonese. "So why", she wails disconsolately, "is there no lobster?!?"
This poses the question: is she having her period at present?
Strange food cravings may mean menstruation.
Pregnancy too, sometimes.
Which is it?

I know what the answer is only because I can recognize what packaged sanitary pads look like. It's just one of those things that sets true geniuses and the previously romantically involved apart.

A very long time ago I was romantically involved.

The absence of romance in my life has directly or indirectly informed the greatest burst of creativity in history, that being well over two thousand gibberant and borderline creepy or insane posts on this blog over the past several years. Yeah man, trust me; a relationship was a horrible distraction that prevented me from doing anything at all.
Especially writing.


I honestly wouldn't mind being distracted again.


I am willing to supply lobster.


And mayonnaise.




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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I figured you would know her cycle. I was thinking of counting the days myself.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, why are you paying any attention at all? Seems a bit privacy-invasive if you ask me.

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