Monday, September 22, 2014

THEY GET GARLIC BREAD AS COMPENSATION!

Thanks to Shimmi P., this blogger now knows what lechem shum means. And in fact I have a new-found appreciation for the substance. Especially as it so far does not yet come bi ta'am petel or bi ta'am shoko (in artificial raspberry or chocolate flavour). Distant third: bi ta'am vanil.
Lechem shum is what the pizzeria sends along with your order to thank you for your continued patronage. They appreciate your business, and consider you a valued customer.

I have never ordered delivery pizza.
Now I wish I had.


SHIMON PERES GOES JOB HUNTING


[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__7b9O8k1tw.]


Only part of it is the garlic bread. Whenever we had spaghetti, my dad made garlic bread, and both my brother and I loved it at the time, probably because it was an uncommon treat in the Netherlands in that age.

Since then, garlic bread has become ubiquitous, and I suspect that much of Europe is drowning under a growing mountain of garlic bread precisely like the United States is. At least the western half of this country, which is filled with hard-working Mexican and Canadian immigrants whose only culinary skill is making garlic bread. Piles and piles of it, hot and greasy.
A veritable feast of garlic bread, all for you, Yankee.
We know you like it, we want to be loved.
Have some more, you look thin.
And green, too.
Eat!

It's been a while since I had garlic bread, as I don't mix with the masses, who even now are in a feeding frenzy down on Polk Street, hitting each other with hot chewy loaves, and splashing olive oil on each other.
When whales feed, the smaller animals get trampled.
There are flattened dead pigeons everywhere.
Too much garlicky goodness.


Dot dot dot...


Sorry, I got distracted by lechem shum. Blame it on Israel. Or at least on Shimon Peres, who probably makes totally stellar garlic bread.

Bi ta'am shum, u bi ta'am charif.




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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Go for the shum.

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