Wednesday, September 17, 2014

KIND NOTE TO SCOTS ON THE EVE OF A MOMENTOUS VOTE: PUSH OFF, YOU SMELLY MONKEYS!

Like everyone, I too have an opinion about the Scots independence vote set for tomorrow. For those readers just tuning in, the Scots nationalists have pushed the envelope, and a nation filled with sheep-rearing hairy men in skirts may soon leave the union.

Unlike the Americans when Mississippi stormed out of the dance, taking the rest of that bunch of bourbon-swilling syphilitics with it, England won't pitch a hissy, but seems resigned to the departure.

Probably even secretly delighted.

As I know I am.


OH LORD, MAKE IT STOP!



[SOURCE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn9SPeDOv-U .]


Okay then. That was four whole minutes of Scottish musical talent.

Amazingly f*&king nasty, perfectly disgraceful.

Take a moment to heave.


When the hairy sheep-shagging bastards finally leave, we can start burning our bagpipes. No more will we have to put up with that instrument, pretending that we actually like their silly little party tricks with what can only be described as an infernal bellows, a ghastly implement, a horrendous tool of torture, possibly a weapon of mass destruction, that which infects, a sorry excuse for music, and quite the most repellent producer of ruptured eardrums, indigestion, suicidal tendencies, and frayed nerves this side of people speaking Swedish.

Fact: bagpipes were invented by Adolph Hitler.

Good bye, good luck, good riddance.

Call us when the oil runs out.

And take your haggis too.


Bobby Burns sucks.


Big-nosed git.



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