A MOST WELCOME SIGHT

Yesterday evening I noticed that several of my previous essays about hypothetically unclothed men of gravitas and maturity had been visited, meaning that I checked my blog stats.
That gave me the idea of posting a handy guide to those pieces, with short descriptions, and clickable links.


Unfortunately, there are far too many posts that mention a significant lack of garments, and an equal number where the expression 'middle aged' plays a starring role.
Charting the intersect, where one might find the subject "naked middle aged man", would, alas, be a Sisyphus arbeit of außerordentlicher schwierigkeit.


And, personally, I cannot understand what the fascination for a naked middle aged man is all about.

I see one in the hallway mirror all the time.

It does nothing for me.


I would far rather see a naughty nursy-wursy in the hallway mirror, holding a freshly baked apple pie. The naked man who pops up occasionally is not really my type. Though I will admit that I sometimes observe his profile -- not bad for an old fart -- or admire the jaunty angle of the briar pipe sticking out of his mouth, and the way the light glints off of his reading specs.
At that age, the reading specs prevent him from stabbing himself in the eye when attempting to return the pipe to his mouth. Those last ten inches are crucial.

Surprisingly, there is no such thing as a 'naughty nursy-wursy' cocktail, which I discovered from searching the internet shortly after inventing that phrase.
But there should be.
Obviously.


NAUGHTY NURSY-WURSY COCKTAIL

Two ounces of Vodka
Half an ounce of Cointreau
Juice of one lime
Soda water
A drizzle of grenadine
Teaspoon apple brandy.

Fill up a highball glass with ice cubes. Pour in two ounces of vodka and an ounce of cointreau. Add the lime juice, then fill up the glass with soda water or seltzer water. Finish by drizzling some grenadine into it, so that it looks like accidental bleeding.
Add a teaspoon of apple brandy or Calvados as a float.

[Note: this mirrors another "cocktail" I created, namely 'The Henry Darger': Two ounces Bourbon, a Maraschino cherry, and a dash of grenadine, over ice cubes in a highball glass. Squirt of ginger ale. Two or three drops of bitters.]


Operating room scrubs are actually a great ensemble for a woman, especially if they're loose and comfortable. It's a combination of business-like modesty, plain solid hues, and professional garb exemplifying both cleanliness and a wholesome attitude.

From Wikipedia: "a short-sleeve V-necked shirt and drawstring pants or a short-sleeve calf-length dress, made of green cotton or cotton/polyester blend."
[End quote.]

And further: "Scrubs worn in surgery are almost always colored solid light green, light blue or a light green-blue shade, although some medical centers have switched to pink as a theft deterrent. Surgical scrubs are not owned by the wearer; due to concerns about home laundering and sterility issues, these scrubs are hospital-owned or hospital-leased through a commercial linen service.
Non-surgical scrubs come in a wider variety of colors and patterns, ranging from official issue garments to custom made, whether by commercial uniform companies or by home-sewing using commercially available printed patterns."
[End quote.]


If there were someone welcoming patients with either hot apple pie OR a refreshing alcoholic beverage, there is no doubt in my mind that more people would regularly visit the dentist, or their general practitioner.

Men especially; we'd gladly go.
Even I would. Again.


I'm fairly certain my dentist, whom I last saw about ten years ago, does not want to see a naked middle aged man.

But maybe his Filipina dental hygienists do.




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