Monday, March 05, 2012

TELL ME MORE

I made the mistake of going to a bar the other night.  With a passel of Lesbians.  Mind you, I have no problem with lesbians, they're mighty fine folk, and I know where I stand when I'm among lesbians.
Outside.
That is to say, I am not the man of their dreams.  I know that.
They know that I know that.  And I know they know.
As long as I don't mention boobies, I'm good.

According to one of the ladies, however, I'm totally fine.
Yes, she's one hundred percent "that way".
Not likely to lapse.  Ever.

But if I were a woman, she would so do me.
Well, provided I didn't have the beard.
It's the eyes.  She likes my eyes.

I was preening myself at this point - all men like to be complimented on their dashing good looks - till she said that I reminded her of her favourite teacher in school.
Who was severely old.
And female.

It was my build that sparked that memory. I too am reasonably thin.
And like her (the teacher), I also have no breasts.
As well as kindly steel-grey eyes.
Plus tufts of silver.

I think I would have preferred to have been compared to a trim young gym instructor instead.
The steely part, I would have liked to have been told, should have been buns.
Or stomach muscles.  Absurd thought it would've been.

Why, even my manly scent (Latakia tobacco and small cheroots), or my charming smile (puckish glint), firm strong fingers (deft and agile). 
Still, the lack of breasts makes me feel good.  No Man-zeer for me.
There is zero percent middle-aged sag. 
No man-boobs.

I would have returned the "compliment".  But fortunately I remembered that it's bad form to deliver keen insights about boobies among the lesbians.  Pro or con.
Boruch Hashem.


You too have a lovely non-sagging flatness!
Why, I hardly even know they're there!
Teeny breasts are so charming!
Sweet & appealing, yay!


Yeah, it's a good thing I can think before I speak.  That keeps me out of trouble.
They're wonderful people, and it's nice that they like my company.
As well as my angular frame, and steely grey eyes.

Also, they're intelligent. That's always a plus.
Thank you!


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